Thursday, June 18, 2015

How I am learning to let go of Perfection

Yesterday I went to a nutrition seminar and it basically read the entire last year of my life.  It resonated so strongly with me that I signed up for a private session afterward to explore the issues further.  I have become so passionate about women, self love, body image, and living better that it's all I can do to learn about myself  and explore these things so that I can help others on their journeys. You have got to LIVE IT to be able to GIVE IT!

There is No Perfect

Despite what the diet and fitness community tries to sell you there is no such thing as Perfect.  There is no coach, no guru, no diet, no exercise routine that is going to get you to the perfect body.  Even when you have the perfect body you will find something to complain about.

There ARE strategies to help you improve and get better but there is no perfect.   The most miserable people are the ones who claim they are striving for perfectionism.  They don't have any time to enjoy their journeys or take note of improvements because they are too busy self loathing and picking themselves apart.  Their battle is in vain because what they are striving for doesn't exist.  All you can do is seek to improve where you are and become the best version of yourself.  Sometimes you will succeed and sometime you will fail.  Failing is okay because it provides valuable feedback on how to continue your quest to get better.

The more the fitness industry tries to tell people that their goal is to have a perfect body, the more discouraged, self loathing, and defeated they will become.  That's part of the reason why only 17% of people are active and  the other 83% of people have given up and said Forget it.  My motto:  Let's celebrate every little success and enjoy the ride of getting better"

At this moment on my journey, I am seeking to improve my Range of Motion, Conditioning, and Core Strength.  I no longer worry about being the perfect weight.   Do I have a number where I'd like to be?  Of course but I'm not going to sit up here and beat myself up for not being there in this moment. The perfect weight is the one I'm at right now because I am alive.  Can I improve upon where I am at this moment?  Yes I can but stressing myself out to get to that improved place isn't worth it and will only hinder me from improving because stress plays a critical role in metabolism.

If I could tell people just one thing it is that there is no perfect: No perfect diet, no perfect exercise routine, no perfect coach, no perfect body.  There will always be SOMETHING that can be improved so why not ENJOY your life while you are on the journey to improve your condition.

Perfect is Unsustainable

One thing that drives me nuts about the diet and fitness industry is the lie that there is a perfect diet and exercise routine that will get everyone to their perfect body.  ALL LIES!  Not true.  Everyone metabolizes food differently due to genetics, medications, stress levels, hormones, etc.  There is no such thing as a perfect diet for everyone.  You must find what works best for you.  I've heard of people who go on the Zone diet and they lose tons of weight only to have their partner try it and the partner gains weight!  Nutrition is HIGHLY individual and soon I will have resources available that will help people dial into their OWN individual nutritional needs.  I cannot write out a meal plan for you because I don't live in your body.  All I can do is help you to use YOUR answers to help YOU design your OWN meal plans and we will have the tools available to help you with that.

Let's say you DID do the perfect diet and got the perfect diet.  Will you sustain it?  My guess is no.  I didn't and most people I know don't.  Here is a diet truth



The most Predictable outcome of a diet is that you will gain the weight back and 40% of us will gain even more weight.


Many of us can testify to this truth.  Perfect is Unsustainable and you will just make yourself miserable trying to sustain.  There comes a time when you must give up the ghost and commit to doing the best you can.

This past weekend I went to a seminar at the Fit Expo conducted by two Mr. Olympias, Phil Heath and Jay Cutler.  Admittedly I went because I was nosy and I thought it would be comedy. I also went because you could sit down I came away super impressed with both of those guys.  It wasn't about "dem weights and dem gains" at all.  The main message they gave was that enjoy where you are now because it will be over one day and you need to put your time and energy into that which will last: Family, Friends, etc.  Yeah trying to get the "perfect" body in the eyes of the judges takes A LOT of time but it's only temporary.  In bodybuilding, you diet for 3-5 months to have the perfect body and It's for ONE DAY.  Jay even said, "I didn't have the perfect body.  It was an illusion with lights and posing". 

I hoped the crowd was listening because unlike a lot of these sham trainers and coaches, those guys were telling the truth.  THIS IDEA OF PERFECT ISN'T GOING TO LAST and neither will your money if you keep throwing it away trying to find the perfect solution.

A call to Give Yourself a Break and Let Go of Perfect

This week I want to encourage you to give yourself a break.  Let go of these restrictions and this futile quest for perfectionism.  Instead enjoy the journey of getting better and improving yourself.  Enjoy the fruits (literally) of making better food choices,  Enjoy the energy you get from real food. Enjoy feeling alive and moving when so many people do not have that luxury.  Enjoy setting new goals and benchmarks for yourself and enjoy the ride of getting there because there is always more to strive for and higher peaks to climb.

The people who decide to start a program by saying:  I am going to be perfect.  I will never mess up are setting themselves up for failure and those are the people that meltdown, quit and give up, or even worse become even more obsessive and self loathing when they do not measure up to impossible standards of perfection.  No athlete goes into a game saying I'm going to make every shot.  Not even my boy Steph Curry,  (How bout them Warriors!! BAY AREA STAND UP!)  Can you imagine how horrible they would play if that was the expectation?  That is way too much pressure and they would likely take themselves out of the game mentally by that point. So don't do that to yourself.

Every day the mission is to get 1% better.  

Say Goodbye to Perfect Misery and Hello to LIVING BETTER.




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