Why I decided to move on from my goal of doing a Figure Competition

This has been a tough blog post to write.  It's taken me about a week or so to actually sit down and write this out because I am used to accomplishing my goals.  For 2 years I have had the big goal to compete in a Figure Competition and last year I decided to seriously prep for a competition.  I ended up losing about 18 pounds but decided to abandon ship and recomposition and do it in 2015.

I decided that this wasn't worth it to me in many respects and I have decided not to pursue this goal at this time in my life.  I have several reasons why.

• I'm not willing to incur long term damage to my mind, body, and spirit to make this happen
• I have other things that I need to pursue 
• I learned what I was supposed to learn 



July 2014, before abandoning ship.

At What Cost?

Mentally

I think my main reason to stop the presses was because I was starting to notice some really disturbing habits emerging that I was uncomfortable with.  Being anxious and consumed with thoughts about food was becoming commonplace and I was tired of it.   I cannot and I will not live like that.  I don't know what kind of fitness/health coach I would call myself if I was sitting around obsessing about eating apples and oranges.  

I was also very uncomfortable with the body dysmorphia that goes on with social media and how I was being influenced by it. In my last blog post I talked about how I was done with that entire scene. Some of what I observed was exactly like  the eating disorder support groups that I have witnessed. True I haven't always felt like super body positive and of course I was insecure at times when I gained weight but I had never been one of those people who sat around and obsessed about her appearance.  I found myself going down that road and I didn't like it.  I did not like that type of influence which is why I unsubscribed from all the fitness groups and pages where there's too much focus on appearance and an abundance of self loathing.  That type of influence was leading to a negative perspective about myself and  again what type of fitness/health coach if I had those types of skewed perspectives?

Physically

Physically I didn't do anything stupid because I was blessed with a coach that did not make me crash diet but I think that my body was tired.  While on the Daniel Fast, I only gained 2 pounds and I was eating mostly carbs and fats.  That told me something right there.  My low back extensors which had been talking to me for a while finally said "Enough" so I took the month of May off from lifting weights.  Two weeks later I feel fine and I'm prepping my body to go through some nice conditioning  and core work this summer.

My mind was already pretty much made up after the Fast but  what pushed me over the edge was talking to someone at the Nor Cal Fitness Summit who shared her experience with me and she said "At What Cost?"  Those were the exact words I needed to hear.  It simply wasn't worth it to me.  I wasn't willing to pay the cost to stand on stage.

Other Pursuits

I have other interests and endeavors that I am pursuing.  A few weeks ago I was challenged about distractions and situations that needed to be cut out of my life. Fitness had become a major distraction for me.  It kept me busy from thinking about some of the real issues that I needed to deal with.  Once I decided not to do the competition anymore, I felt relief.  I knew that I would have time to build my business, brand, and devote my time to other pursuits related to my mission and purpose in life.  

I learned what I was supposed to learn

I am Good Enough.  I don't need to stand onstage to prove that to anyone.

Uh this was probably the best part.  I think I've shared this before but it bears repeating.  I am not 22 anymore.  I'm a 30 something single woman and it can get discouraging at times. Sometimes I have felt that I need some sort of edge and marketing tool to help me out here in the marketplace.  I felt like competing would help me out in that respect but turns out I don't need competing to bring up my value.

There was a situation that I blamed on the fact that I wasn't 130 pounds.  Well guess what baby?  I was 130 pounds and the same thing happened.  I don't think any of that superficial stuff mattered. Actually I came to realize that situation went that way because of my poor behavior and not my weight.  Besides that if someone is there for YOU,all that silly superficial stuff doesn't matter.

So I learned what I was supposed to learn which is that who I am on the inside and my character is what matters not whether or not I get onstage and compete.  Competing wasn't going to solve my single problem or any problem for that matter.

It also DID NOT hurt that those in my target demographic gave me some excellent encouragement in the past few months and I weigh about 15 pounds more than last year.  Plus I learned that it is unnecessary to stretch the truth about being 22.  So....what the problem is?  

Ladies, we need to STOP believing this hype about the need to be perfect to be worth anything.  We also need  to quite listening to these advertisements and marketing campaigns who prey on women's fear of aging, insecurities, and negative body image to try to sell us STUFF that we don't need.

Take it from this 30 something who is getting older and whose demographic is getting younger depending on the day. 

Where do we Go From Here?

Well I'm due for another trip around the sun in another 3 months (G Day in August) so that means I need to continue to get better. That's my main focus.

I think my body is looking for a rest from traditional bodybuilding training for a few months.  My plan for the next 12 weeks (June, July August) is Conditioning.  That means a lot of fun circuits, complexes, conditioning, High Intensity Interval Training workouts, bodyweight core exercises, and other fun stuff.

Diet wise I am at a deficit but nothing to drastic because my goal is to be able to eat as much as possible while losing body fat.  I have a nutrition plan that I put together but I've let my body guide me as far as my meals are concerned.  Sometimes I can't get it all in and that's fine.  My body is telling me what it needs.  What's funny is that since I put the brakes on the whole thing, I haven't cared too much about food.  I'm still eating the same foods, the same amounts, with some different foods here and there but relatively the same and it's been fine. No freaking out or being consumed..I have other things to spend my time on.

I will share my progress pics on June 1.  I will share my progress every 4 weeks I will share my progress so you can see what I'm doing.

I cannot control what happens progress wise but I can control my consistency to my health and fitness program.  My goal is to be strong, healthy, and fit....like my fave Serena Williams.  

What I look like is a byproduct of all of that but not the main goal..although if my pants stop fitting then it is time to get it together.

Sometimes you may not get the outcome you desired but you will learn the lesson you are supposed to learn and that is the main objective.

To Life, Energy, and Vitality!  Live Better!!