Do you know why? Because your idea of what's perfect is ever changing. It's like trying to hit a moving target I remember when my goal was, "If only I could get down to 145," then that became, "If Only I could get down to 135" and even when I was at my lowest weight, it still wasn't good enough.
This is how we start getting caught in the mire of body dysmorphia. All that we can see is FAT and need to do more.
I was so embarrassed about the picture on the right last year because I had gained weight after abandoning ship on the fitness competition business.
I was still beating myself up about not eating perfectly, I had gone out to Yard House with friends and eaten a good meal for Labor Day (including dessert) and I felt bad about it.
Even though I wasn't going to be competing I still beat myself up about going out to enjoy food with friends. Something I had not really done in 6 months! Now I look at the picture on the right and hope that I can get back to there! I want to get back to where I was 2 years ago! To think! I was disgusted with myself with those photos. I am so thankful that things didn't get much worse with that mindset! Health and Fitness is not supposed to be about being self loathing. It's supposed to be empowering.
Mindset Change: Be Consistent and Let it Happen
I am proposing that you have a mindset change. Stop trying to hit the moving target of having a perfect body because the second you start thinking you're doing something you will go on social media and start comparing yourself to another and then you're vowing to work harder to look like whomever.
You also need to have a mindset change when it comes to control. Instead of giving yourself the illusion of control with perfect meal planning, never missing a workout, and annihilating yourself mentally and physically. I propose to you the methodology of consistency.
We know that stress wreaks havoc on the body. Stressing out about food, weight, and such is a stressor. Getting on the scale and being anxious about what it will say is a stressor. None of that will help you in your fat loss goals. It just makes things worse. White knuckling about eating something "off plan" or missing a workout due to the enjoyment of life will not help you.
What will help is being consistent. This goes for everyone. If you are CONSISTENTLY making the BETTER choice when it comes to your nutrition and exercise, then you will notice the fruits of that adding up over time. I am so tired of these quick fix scams that prey on people. No there's no magic supplement or magic workout that will give you the results you're looking for in 20 minutes.
Consistency is what will give you the results you're looking for. Consistently eating whole foods vs pastries and fast food will lead to better results. Consistently exercising instead of going home to watch hours of television will lead to better results over time.
IT IS ABOUT WHAT YOU DO CONSISTENTLY AND NOT THESE QUICK FIX 40 DAY MIRACLES.
The Illusion of Control
You don't have control over how your body decides to respond. That's why it is often fruitless to set goals such as: I want to lose 10 pounds in 6 weeks. Well what if your metabolism says "No. We're on a slowdown" from all your calorie restriction and we want to hold on to every calorie that you take in OR what happens if your body decides it wants to lose 5 pounds in 6 weeks, are you going to try to FORCE yourself to lose more? You can use unhealthy methods but those "get by" options are just going to cost you more over time.
What you do have control over are the CHOICES you make CONSISTENTLY and that's where it stops and ends. The Fitness Industry MUST STOP promoting ALL OR NOTHING mentalities because after a while NOTHING seems like the best option.
No Scale, No Stress
Even though I am curious and would like to know where I am with my progress, I am also glad NOT to know. It feels so much better to be eating fresh food, enjoying exercise, and focusing on how much better I feel. In that picture above, I was still obsessed with food, paranoid about missing a workout, and generally unhappy with myself.
So I will take eating real food, enjoying/progressing in my workouts, and feeling pretty good about myself over the 15 pounds. Do I want to lose the 15 pounds? Yes but I've decided that the best way to do that is to be consistent with what I am doing now. I for sure think my diet is much healthier now than in that photo above and I KNOW my mindset is WAY BETTER and that's what counts.
As I told someone this past weekend, I am feeling so much better...it won't be long before I start looking better as well but it's much more important for me to get my MIND RIGHT than to look a certain way.
In my economy, HEALTH is more important than looks.
As Scott Abel said and the counselor I spoke with told me, we have to accept that the process will take longer than we would like. I was told to expect that it would take 6 - 9 months to get back to normal. We are currently beginning Month 4 and I am determined to be consistent about getting back to a healthy mindset!
I'm always available if you want to reach out. There are so many people who are suffering in silence and you don't have to anymore!
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