Finish Strong: Celebrate Imperfect Progress & Be Kind to Yourself

As I reflect back on the past 2 years of my Fitness Journey,  I have a tendency to focus on the negative or growth opportunities as we call them at my faith community.

The negatives are of course: Not doing the Figure Competition and  Gaining 20 pounds from that experience

But when I look at what I actually got out of it such as

• Finally pinpointing that the real issue was the war on myself about not ever feeling as if I were enough
• Being motivated to learn about why women and diets don't mesh well together
• Learning more about weight training and bodybuilding to help me and my clients live better
• Becoming passionate about taking on the body fascists and body image
• Meeting some cool new people who I've actually hung out with

The good things far outweigh the negative.  That's how it is when you set Big Hairy Audacious Goals.  You may not hit your target but you certainly get way more out of the experience than had you stayed complacent.

The speaker on Sunday talked about one of his own BHAG's which was to cycle up Mt Diablo in a certain amount of time.  After he retired he decided to take on the challenge.  He told us it took him 3 years to finally do it and when he did, he was excited that he was passing people half his age.

He said the first 3 times he was disappointed but then he thought: "Hey wait a minute! I'm a retiree and I'm up here getting angry because I didn't make it in the time limit?  How many guys my age can even do this!  I wasn't even able to do this a few years ago. This is definitely worth celebrating!"

Hitting a moving Target and Never Being  Enough

I believe one of the main reasons people continue to fail on their attempts to get healthier is because they are convinced that they are never enough, it's always a fail, and therefore they are a failure.  Even if they try it is never enough and this promotes self loathing which is when the "Why Bother" attitude takes over and you give up  

I have said on this blog before that I really do not think it's healthy for people to use cosmetics as their sole metric of success because it's like constantly trying to hit a moving target.  If you lose 10 pounds, then you'll be mad you didn't lose 15 pounds.  It just turns into a cycle of never  believing that you are enough and convincing yourself that you deserve the story of self loathing.

You may be asking what does this have to do with health and fitness?  I will tell you that it has everything to do with health and fitness.

You will never be successful with your fitness goals as long as you are coming from a place of self loathing, you believe that YOU are not enough, and you're unkind to yourself.

If I have learned anything in 2015, it is that it's not about the food and it's not about the exercise.  It's about what's eating you and what's holding YOU back from getting healthier.

Celebrate Imperfect Progress and Be Kind to Yourself

Last I checked I was 21 pounds heavier than when I started this journey 2 years ago and many of my clothes don't fit. HOWEVER that doesn't bother me as much as it would have 2 years ago and I am not running around trying to find the next ANSWER to fix myself This is what I would call Imperfect Progress.  

I've vowed to move forward and that's what I'm doing.  For the past 5 months or so, I have been consciously eating more carbohydrates and following a (mostly) self designed training program designed to improve my lean body mess and rebuild what I lost during the extended dieting period.

As I have continued to study the "Stimulate Don't Annihilate" principle of training, one thing that stood out to me was taking breaks in order to rest your joints and nervous system.   This of course is frowned upon in the extremist current fitness crowd, but who cares?  I believe this is one of the keys to longevity.

Lee Haney had it right back in the 1980's and that's why he is able to still move, jog, and exercise in his 50's 

In my case, I believe in using this time to work on my flexibility, mobility,core strength, and conditioning.  So for the month of December that will be my focus.  If I am in this for the long haul then I have to be kind to my body and not try to beat it into submission because I'm unhappy that it's not doing what I want it to do.

This month I want to encourage you to become aware of how you are treating yourself.  Are you treating yourself well or are you listening to the ridiculous taunts of advertisers telling you that you aren't good enough and need to be fixed by buying whatever they are peddling.  I couldn't believe all of the detoxes, plans, and gimmicks I saw last week along with practically telling people they were going to Hell and committing an unforgivable sin of eating Thanksgiving Dinner.  I was glad several of my industry colleagues spoke out against this nonsense.

I have to tell you guys, the more I look at so many of these advertisements and posts from the fitness industry, the more it makes sense that obesity rates are rising and the long term success rate for traditional models of dieting is 5%.

So I'm challenging you to get real with yourself: Become aware of your own self talk and In 2016, do not be afraid to go after a BHAG whether it is health related or not.  Even if it doesn't turn out how you think it will, you will be better off than if you had just done nothing at all.

I ended the war on myself this year and it has been amazing to be free enough to explore so many different opportunities. This sums it up right here!

Here's to a great December!  Finish Strong!

20 Pounds Later and the War is Over: No More Dieting

Suppose  you were sick and the doctor told you that if you continue your current behavior and lifestyle that you would have an 83% chance of getting sick again. Would you STOP what you are doing or would you continue on?

Let's say that you had money to invest and your financial planner told you that he had an 83% FAILURE rate.  Would you invest with that person?

I am guessing that you would STOP your current lifestyle and you would not invest your money with that broker.

CONSIDER THIS

In her book women food and God, Geneen Roth cites an April 2007 UCLA Study of the effectiveness of dieting, researchers found that one of the best predictors of WEIGHT GAIN was having lost weight on a diet at some point during the years before the study started. Among those who were followed for fewer than two years, 83% gained back more weight than they had lost. Another study found that people who went on diets were worse off than people who didn't.

I gained 20 pounds and I did not freak out

As many of you know, I have been off of the scale since about August and this past Saturday for the first time in about 2 months I stepped on the scale.  I was semi surprised at what I saw.  I was 20 pounds heavier than when I started this, "You want to be a figure competitor" journey.  Now I do have my hair braided with two packs of hair so I'm sure that accounts for some of the gain but I did not lose scale weight from the summer.  I did lose inches though but not scale weight.

I put the scale away and then left to go to the gym.  I was surprised by my own reaction.  I did not freak out.  I did not think about what was the next diet I was going to go on, what coach I should sign up with for a new meal plan, or what I needed to do in order to get the scale down to where it needed to be.

I just moved on.

Ending the War With Myself

I have officially called a cease fire on the war without end that I've imposed upon myself.  I'm reading Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth.  We discussed a lot of her work in the Eating Psychology group I went to during the summer.  Her work is about discovering WHY we compulsively eat when we are not hungry for food.

The chapters I read this past weekend summed up the last year or two of my life perfectly.  Being obsessed with meal plans, workouts, and all of that gave me something to do.  It gave me a distraction from facing the real issues.  Earlier this year, a woman named Ingrid told me that all of my distractions were going to be cut.  I realized that Fitness had become a HUGE distraction.  It's great to be busy obsessing about food plans and exercise so that you don't have to confront the bigger issues in your life.  Since this year I have confronted those issues, faced them head on, and released a lot of the toxic mindsets that drove those unhealthy behaviors I just can't get that moved about the scale.

The truth is that it is going to take time for my body to heal itself and go back to homeostasis after 15 months of caloric restriction and exercise.  It's not going to be any quick fix or 21 day challenge.  It's going to take TIME and since I'm alive...I still have Time on my side.  However I am not going to put my life on hold until my scale gets back to where I want it to be.  I will not let my life pass me by.

Dieting and Exercise as Punishment

While Reading Women Food and God this past weekend, I had what Oprah calls an A-ha Moment.  It was this line in the book that screamed at me:

"As if punishing themselves with dietary rigors will make up for something inherently damaged, fundamentally wrong with their very existence." Being thin becomes the test.  They must suffer humiliation and torment. "

That is what I had been doing.  I will be honest.  I HATE the current fitness motivational psychology on social media.  It's based around shaming, extreme vanity, self obsession, and punishment.  Listen to the way they talk:  KILLING themselves in the gym, being MARTYRS for their diets,  GLORYING in feeling like they are PUNISHING themselves.  

Look at this meme.  Punishment.  You have earned your pain?  For someone who doesn't feel good about themselves, this is a TERRIBLE message. Self Loathing people perpetually beat themselves up for not being more.  It's the mindset of, "I suck.  I'm a loser so I deserve to beat myself up in the gym."  According to this meme you've won when you're in pain? GIVE ME A BREAK!  If you're in pain every workout, then it won't be long before you won't be able to work out.

I love the great Lee Haney's saying, "Stimulate don't Annihilate." That has become my fitness philosophy and it is the truth.  I have felt more worked cutting back on weights, going Full Range of Motion, and really stimulating the muscles than just throwing weights around.  There seems to be all of this annihilation going on in the Fitness industry and for what purpose?  How is this helping people?  

I have jumped off of that train.  My message is to LIVE BETTER. Watching all those people who trained crazy for years barely being able to move in their 40's and 50's because of multiple surgeries is enough to let me know that if I want to be the raunchy woman into her 70's and 80's that is not the way.

A Cease Fire on Myself

I'm done fighting this pointless and useless war on myself.  We as women will never be happy. We see women who supposedly have it all still get nitpicked.  Gorgeous Gigi Hadid got it from the body fascists not too long ago because she doesn't look like all the girls. She had to speak out about having boobs, butt, and thighs!  She's a woman for heaven's sake! I mean really?  If 20 year old supermodels aren't safe, then the rest of us may as well give it up!

After the Nor Cal Fitness Summit, I know that I have bigger projects to complete that are more important than immersing myself in the war without end on my weight.  To be honest with you, I am doing everything that I advocate in my programs.  I am eating real food, I have an eating routine and I don't eat between meals, I exercise 5-6 days a week (workouts are shorter and more intense), not taking too many stimulants (other than coffee), getting plenty of sleep, and drinking water.  I refuse to put my body through more stress of dieting and too much exercising. 

No More Dieting

Think about this:

one of the best predictors of WEIGHT GAIN was having lost weight on a diet at some point during the years before the study started.

I have read other studies that said that the people who gain the most weight in adulthood are those who went on the most diets. 

I believe it!  Right now I am 20 pounds above where I was when I first started this whole thing.  When I started, I was eating the same way I am now, worked out because I enjoyed it, and could fit into my clothes.  I go on a diet to try and get onstage, lose 18 pounds and now I have gained it all back plus 2 pounds more, and cannot fit into a good portion of my clothes.

The solution is not another diet.  The solution is to eat real food, exercise, not stress out about weight and let the body heal and recover.  It has only been six months since I stopped the insanity so I have to be patient and give myself time.  I'm doing the right things and I have to let nature take its course.

I have talked to people who have lost weight and kept it off for good and all of them tell me that they don't diet.  Now that's not to say that they don't cut back if they're going on a vacation or have a big event to do but they don't live their lives on meal plans because you can't LIVE that way.

This past weekend was Halloween and I had just one piece of candy.  I had a Mini Snickers that I got from another instructor at the gym.  It was great because that's my favorite candy and that's all I wanted. I didn't need to restrict myself about the candy because Halloween Candy doesn't really turn me on but I do like Mini Snickers and Mini Twix.  Not having restrictions makes a big difference which is something that I want people to understand.  The more restrictive you are, the more you end up focusing on food.

Announcement: Support Group

Starting December 1, I will be forming a Facebook Support Group for Women revolving around nutrition, exercise, and body image.  I am getting feedback from women that they do not have support and encouragement.  The Holidays can be tough with all of the stress, emotions, family, loneliness, and grief. Sometimes you need a place where people know your name and you can receive encouragement.

Until Next Time,

LIVE BETTER!

Before and After is great but what about 18 months from now: What I have learned in the last 12 weeks

Over the past 12 weeks, I have put myself through a program that emphasizes strength training, eating real food, no measuring/eating intuitively, and working on my conditioning.

Before and After is Great but what about 18 months from now?

I attended the Nor Cal Fitness Summit this past weekend and what a great time it was!  One of the speakers said something that I totally agreed with.  Before and After is Great but what about 18 months from now.  THAT is the picture we need to see.  Anybody can get people to lose weight in 14 days, 21 days, or whatever time these  short term challenges are, but what about 18 months from today?  Where are the people now?  Are they still thriving?  Is the lifestyle sustainable?

That's what I ask myself.  Where will I be 18 months from now?  We are bombarded with amazing pictures and transformations on the daily but what about the After After.  What then?  It's not even about the weight.  Is the person in a healthy headspace?  What's REALLY going on?  Something to think about and something that touched me.

What I have Learned

• Body dysmorphia, disordered eating patterns,  self loathing, and body obsession is damaging for not only fitness coaches but also their clients/people following their journey
• As long as I just keep going I will get where I want to go.
• This is about being healthy for life so I can still rock it out later on down the line
• There is no perfect.  There is better
• I am Going to Continue to become the best version of myself and I'm looking to bring more people along with me.

How Damaging Body Dysmorphia, Disordered Eating Patterns, and body obsession is for all involved.

I started off being focused on trying to lose the fat that I've gained due to my body rebounding from the past year.  After I put the scale away, that became less of a focus and I started to become aware of exactly where I was with my headspace in regards to health/fitness and that became the most important issue.  I have shared that I felt that I was developing some really bad habits such as: body dysmorphia, disordered eating habits, and self loathing. 

That awareness led me to check my own behaviors because I don't think it's healthy for someone who is a health/fitness coach to transfer that onto clients and or followers.  I see it daily on social media and I think about what that is saying to someone who really is in dire straits in regards to their health.  

How does that type of message affect someone who can't climb stairs or is really suffering because they are 100-200 pounds overweight.  What about people who have tried and failed with diet after diet?

What message does it send when someone who is in good shape is on social media obsessing about every imperfection?  That's not healthy and it's not a message that I want to send to people who are sharing in my journey.

Mark Fisher of Mark Fisher Fitness

Just think about the negative words that are used when describing workouts: Kill, Torture, Destroy, etc.  What happened to fun?  

This is Me with Mark Fisher of Mark Fisher Fitness and he definitely understands the Fun and CRAZY of Fitness.  I will be sharing more about this in a later post. We need to be concerned with people who hate the gym and show them that it CAN be fun.  We need to show people that fitness CAN feel good and you can have a great time doing it.  I used to have so much fun at the gym dancing, singing, and stalking people. COME ON PEOPLE!

As long as I keep going, I will get where I want to go

I still haven't stepped on the scale because I haven't had time and  it's not my big focus anymore.  Scott Abel said something that really resonated with me.  He said, "Anybody who has had any success in life doesn't get caught up in the distractions.  They are focused on conquering their goal. " The focus is to getting wherever you have set your destination.  

Prior to coming across that nugget from Scott Abel, I had adopted a similar mindset.  I had stopped focused on getting to a particular number and decided to get back to how I felt 2 years ago.  I wanted to get back to eating healthy foods because that was just what I did, I wanted to get back to working out because it was part of my life, and I wanted to be able to do a pull up again.  I wanted to get back to my headspace being where it needed to be. 

I have to say that I have made vast improvements in that area.  The eating psychology workshops I went to helped in that regard.  One of the things we talked about was that we have a tendency to think, "Well when I lose these last 10 pounds, then I will do ______"  The truth is that it doesn't matter.  You can do it all now.  I have done quite a few fun things in the past 3 months and they have been inspiring and awesome!  

This is about Training for Life not looking perfect

One of the fun things I did was FINALLY going to see Madonna.  Madonna is 57 years old.  3 years away from 60 and she played 2.5 hours without an intermission.  Back in the day, Madonna was known for her hardcore workouts and even now she's known for her strict diet and exercise program.  That program though allows her at 57 to still work that stage!  During her concert I thought about how I am training for MY LIFE.  I haven't had kids yet, so I won't be all that young when they are growing up and I want to have energy to play and keep up with them.  I have some big goals and big dreams and I can't do them if I'm out of shape and have no endurance.

I can't help anybody if I'm sick and disabled because I did not take care of myself.  I want to be strong and have good endurance so I can keep fighting the good fight out here!

There is No Perfect 

A couple of months ago I saw someone who is supposed to be the ideal.  This person was judged to be the top body in his field. Hmmmm All I could come up with is, "He has very nice teeth."  He Wasn't knocking my socks off AT ALL but you know who does knock my socks off?  Mike Tomlin, Coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers.  During one of the Steeler victories, he jumped up and down so you could see his stomach and it was far from a six pack...but who cares?  The guy is handsome! 

My point is that we have people telling us what we should think is awesome or perfect but that doesn't make it truth.  The fitness industry has this way of making people feel like crap if they don't look "perfect".  I am here to tell you that you don't need to worry about being perfect because it doesn't exist. Just because an industry, the media, social media, and whomever else says that women should have this perfect body that doesn't make it true.  There is no perfect.  Women in particular need to stop with the all or nothing thinking.  We think if we are not perfect with our diets, our bodies, our exercise routine why even bother.  

There is Better

Release the idea of perfect. It's a prison that you won't be able to escape. Focusing on perfection is setting you up for a thought process of self loathing You're sitting over here beating yourself about being perfect when you need to be focused on being consistent and being better than you were the day before.

I am going to continue to become the best version of myself and I want more people to come along with me

Listen folks I have a message that is bigger than butts, stomachs, and whatever else the people are trying to sell you.  My message is about loving YOU, celebrating yourself wherever you are in your life, living better SO THAT you too can be a raunchy 60+  year old. I met a woman yesterday who told me she was 71 and has no intentions of giving up the dance floor!  That's what I'm talking about!!! I have pledged to still teach class well into my 80's-90's...and I need a class to teach to so I'm going to be sharing my message so that you all are there with me!

LET'S GO!

Week 3 No Scale Challenge: Stop trying to hit a moving target

TRUTH:  You will never have your perfect body.

Do you know why?  Because your idea of what's perfect is ever changing.  It's like trying to hit a moving target  I remember when my goal was, "If only I could get down to 145," then that became, "If Only I could get down to 135" and even when I was at my lowest weight, it still wasn't good enough.  

This is how we start getting caught in the mire of body dysmorphia.  All that we can see is FAT and need to do more.

I was so embarrassed about the picture on the right last year because I had gained weight after abandoning ship on the fitness competition business.

I was still beating myself up about not eating perfectly, I had gone out to Yard House with friends and eaten a good meal for Labor Day (including dessert) and I felt bad about it.

Even though I wasn't going to be competing I still beat myself up about going out to enjoy food with friends.  Something I had not really done in 6 months!  Now I look at the picture on the right and hope that I can get back to there!   I want to get back to where I was 2 years ago! To think!  I was disgusted with myself with those photos.  I am so thankful that things didn't get much worse with that mindset!  Health and Fitness is not supposed to be about being self loathing.  It's supposed to be empowering.

Mindset Change:  Be Consistent and Let it Happen

I am proposing that you have a mindset change.  Stop trying to hit the moving target of having a perfect body because the second you start thinking you're doing something you will go on social media and start comparing yourself to another and then you're vowing to work harder to look like whomever.

 You also need to have a mindset change when it comes to control.  Instead of giving yourself the illusion of control with perfect meal planning, never missing a workout, and annihilating yourself mentally and physically.  I propose to you the methodology of consistency.

We know that stress wreaks havoc on the body.  Stressing out about food, weight, and such is a stressor.  Getting on the scale and being anxious about what it will say is a stressor.  None of that will help you in your fat loss goals.  It just makes things worse.  White knuckling about eating something "off plan" or missing a workout due to the enjoyment of life will not help you.

What will help is being consistent.  This goes for everyone.  If you are CONSISTENTLY making the BETTER choice when it comes to your nutrition and exercise, then you will notice the fruits of that adding up over time.  I am so tired of these quick fix scams that prey on people.  No there's no magic supplement or magic workout that will give you the results you're looking for in 20 minutes. 

Consistency is what will give you the results you're looking for.  Consistently eating whole foods vs pastries and fast food will lead to better results.  Consistently exercising instead of going home to watch hours of television will lead to better results over time.

IT IS ABOUT WHAT YOU DO CONSISTENTLY AND NOT THESE QUICK FIX 40 DAY MIRACLES.

The Illusion of Control

You don't have control over how your body decides to respond.  That's why it is often fruitless to set goals such as: I want to lose 10 pounds in 6 weeks.  Well what if your metabolism says "No.  We're on a slowdown" from all your calorie restriction and we want to hold on to every calorie that you take in OR what happens if your body decides it wants to lose 5 pounds in 6 weeks, are you going to try to FORCE yourself to lose more?  You can use unhealthy methods but those "get by" options are just going to cost you more over time.

What you do have control over are the CHOICES you make CONSISTENTLY and that's where it stops and ends.  The Fitness Industry MUST STOP promoting ALL OR NOTHING mentalities because after a while NOTHING seems like the best option.

No Scale, No Stress

Even though I am curious and would like to know where I am with my progress, I am also glad NOT to know.  It feels so much better to be eating fresh food, enjoying exercise, and focusing on how much better I feel.  In that picture above, I was still obsessed with food, paranoid about missing a workout, and generally unhappy with myself.

So I will take eating real food, enjoying/progressing in my workouts, and feeling pretty good about myself over the 15 pounds.  Do I want to lose the 15 pounds?  Yes but I've decided that the best way to do that is to be consistent with what I am doing now.  I for sure think my diet is much healthier now than in that photo above and I KNOW my mindset is WAY BETTER and that's what counts.

As I told someone this past weekend, I am feeling so much better...it won't be long before I start looking better as well but it's much more important for  me to get my MIND RIGHT than to look a certain way.  

In my economy, HEALTH is more important than looks.

As Scott Abel said and the counselor I spoke with told me, we have to accept that the process will take longer than we would like.  I was told to expect that it would take 6 - 9 months to get back to normal.  We are currently beginning Month 4 and I am determined to be consistent about getting back to a healthy mindset!

I'm always available if you want to reach out.  There are so many people who are suffering in silence and you don't have to anymore!

No Scale Challenge Week 1 is Down! Confronting Some Hard Truths

Well I made it.

One week without the scale.  My normal Saturday morning used to include a scale ritual which would  determine whether things were a failure or success that week and then trying to fix whatever didn't seem to be working.

This week I did not do that.  I wrote client programs for the following week, ate breakfast, and had an AWESOME workout at the gym.  After that Mm new esthetician also asked if I was a student and when I told her that I just had my birthday that past Monday she really gassed me up about how young I look so I'm a customer for life.

So I had a good day and there was no scale.  I must confess that I kept fighting the temptation throughout the week and on Saturday to, "just take a peek".   Instead I went and put on the pants that didn't go up over my behind last month and now they are. Next stop buttoning them up.

I have decided that I will not weigh or measure myself until after I complete all the workouts on this program. I'm on workout #12 as of today and I have 32 more to go...so we shall see. 

Confronting some Hard Truths

Seeing how anxious I got about not getting on the scale made me confront some hard truths.

I'm really angry and disappointed with myself

I think what gets me the most about this entire experience is that: I NEVER MADE IT TO THE FREAKING STAGE.  I wonder if I would be handling this better had I accomplished my goal.  Not only did I NOT accomplish what I set out to do, I ended up going backwards in many regards.  It's not just the scale weight.  My endurance has also regressed and I don't recover from workouts as well as in the past.  That could be due to age but I also feel like I'm in worse shape than before. I've noticed an improvement since embracing "STIMULATE DON'T ANNIHILATE" training philosophy.

And yes, I am angry that in this moment and time I would love to be back where I was before this whole "Trying to be a figure competitor" adventure.  I would love to be back at the place where I didn't weigh myself, where I ate well because of the way it made me felt, and where I had fun workouts because they were fun and I loved the way I felt.  Oh yeah and during that time I was 15 pounds lighter...but here you go:  I thought life would be better if I could become a figure competitor and get really lean.  Instead I ended up learning some extremely valuable lessons and having to start from the bottom,

Coming back from Failure

I'm not one of these people who post inspirational messages on Social Media that are feel good empty crap. These are the things that I have to say to myself to not give up and quit.

This endeavor was a failure in many ways but I've learned SO MUCH and I doubt without this failure, I would have gotten as FIRED UP about the following issues: Women's Body Image

Health Coaching/Designing Programs that are targeted towards lifestyle rather than cosmetics and speaking out about body dysmorphia.  I also learned a lot about myself and following my instincts.

Plus we have to take risks in life or else it's boring.  This experience is a definite part of my message to women about finding worth in appearance, ineffective dieting, and self esteem issues.  Who knows what other doors this experience will open?  I honestly believe there  is going to be some major vindication when all is said and done but for now it sucks.  The song Shattered Dreams comes to mind...

Body Dysmorphia is Rampant in the fitness industry and it is having a negative impact on clients.

One of the women trainers I follow on social media recently opened up about her struggle with Body Image.  She used to weigh upwards of 230 pounds and lost 90 pounds much of it through lots of cardio and starving.  She finally understood that was not the way to go and began to educate herself about eating more and strength training because she did start gaining weight again. Then she decided that she wanted to do a figure competition because she thought that would help her get into better shape and challenge herself (Sound familiar?) After about a year of dieting and training she ALSO never made it to the stage and now she's somewhere in between the 90 pound weight loss and 230 pounds.  She is finding herself frustrated and angry because she doesn't want to weigh 230 pounds again but she also is refusing to go back to all the cardio and not eating.

Someone asked her: "What wasthe big deal?  When will she be happy?" She's one of the most popular instructors in her area and one of the top trainers in her gym.  She helps a lot of people but she was so hung up on and insecure about the way she looked. It's hard not to be with all of the naked Instagram and Facebook "trainers" who have no certs but tons of selfies.

In her blog this week this woman talked about how little girls never hear their mothers say anything positive about their body and what type of message that sends to their daughters.  She's right.

I'm going to take it one step further and say that there are far too many people in the fitness industry that are always negative about their bodies or preaching about perfectionism and that is a terrible message to send to clients.  

People have much bigger problems than six pack abs and butts.  They have family troubles, stressful jobs, relationship issues, financial issues, stress, and yet the industry continues to market magic beans, workouts, and meal plans as the answer to real problems.

I really think that the reason that 80% of people are not active is because the public can sense that the shallow message of the current fitness industry is promoted by delusional people who are avoiding their own lives and overcompensating for perceived shortcomings.  The public can sense this stuff is nonsense and stay away.  

My experience has SOLIDIFIED my MESSAGE.

A fitness coach with a healthy body image and sense of self is what we need more of.  We need people who are going to meet people where they are and STOP saying you just need another meal plan or you just need to try this supplement.  How about you need to GET YOUR LIFE.

I could talk about this all day so I won't.  I will shut up now and save more for next week.  Until then, feel free to reach out to me!  I love hearing your feedback.

#GETOFFTHESCALE #NOSCALECHALLENGE

Join Me in Getting Off the Scale For the Next Month!! Thoughts on Aging Better

This week I celebrated G Day.  It's the annual celebration of another year of life and another trip around the sun.  On my Facebook page I shared some tips for aging better which I will share at the end of this blog post.

This week I made a decision:  I am staying off of the scale for the next 4 weeks.  I will not concern myself with the scale, measurements, or any of that.  I am going to focus on eating well, enjoying my workouts, and feeling alive

GET OFF THE SCALE

A few weeks ago one of my favorite physique competitors posted this picture.  I found it to be so inspirational.  I've been really discouraged at seeing my weight about 15 pounds heavier than when I started this "You wanna be a figure competitor experience".  It's really been frustrating to feel like I'm working towards an exercise in futility.

Last week I attended a workshop about Why Diets Fail women and it was eye opening to say the least.  Without delving too far into the material, I will say this.  Women become frustrated and don't do well when the focus is simply on numbers and rigid rules.  Is this not a true statement?  Our bodies fluctuate way too much and plus our brains just don't respond well to that type of stimulus.  That's why all of this weighing, measuring, meal plans, scales, measurements, and such get old after a while and women go nuts.  It's just not how we are meant to function.

This gave me a lot to think about/  I've changed training philosophies and I'm relying on biofeedback for my nutrition and diet. I no longer crave things like Quest Bars and have gone back to making protein bread, drinking protein smoothies for breakfast, and eating a holistic diet. I feel way better and my pants are going over my behind again.  All of that in just two weeks but one week the scale would go down a pound and the next week it would be back up a pound and that's when I would get so discouraged about the whole thing even though I feel better.

Something had to change and you know one of my favorite sayings:  It's time to say and do something different.

So I decided to challenge myself:  No weighing myself for the next 4 weeks.  None.  No scale and no measurements.  If I want to see how things are going, then I can use my trusty pair of pants.

Will you join me?  Will you join me in deciding to get off of your scale, stop the measurements, and resolve to eat well, exercise, and feel alive?  Let me tell you something being a slave to that scale can also be a source of stress and anxiety.  Stress and anxiety cause weight gain due to hormones and the way you metabolize food.

4 weeks...No scale and see what happens.

Aging Better

Ah another year of life in the books.  I'm thankful to be in my 30's, thriving, and feeling alive.  If you had known me 20 years ago we both would have been shocked at how things have turned out but I had this life in mind the entire time.  It just took me some years to get it off the ground.

In any case as I keep learning, I'm not in my 20's anymore and that means that I need to train smarter.  I need to rest and recover when necessary and I am taking 8x Mr Olympia Lee Haney's mantra to heart:  STIMULATE don't ANNIHILATE the muscle!  It's so true.  He's in his 50's still looks great and is not falling apart like some of his contemporaries.

As I get older, I'm only going to get louder about this stuff.  I'm so tired of people (women in particular) feeling limited and stifled by age.  There are ways to slow down the aging process.  Fresh Foods, Strength Training, and Training Smart are just three of them.

Mindset is critical.  "You're only as old as you feel" I know several people who are in their 80's and 90's who live by that credo and it's the truth.  If you think you're old and tired, then you will act that way.

We don't exercise as we get older only to look a certain way but we exercise and are active so that we can enjoy our lives and not spend it confined to bed or unable to do the simplest tasks.

Current Program

Doing Scott Abel's Hardgainer Solution which is working the total body 5x per week.  I do 3 on/1 off.  It's high reps, high sets and while it's marketed for people who want to gain muscle mass, in his book about Metabolism, he recommends it for those of us who have experienced a slowed metabolism and need to get things going again.  5 total Body workouts per week = Major calorie burn.  Scott Abel is a fan of stimulate don't annihilate as well so the goal is not to go to failure.

I've raised Cardio to 20 minutes but it doesn't really feel like it because it's either interval training, jumprope, or some sort of circuit I've made up to keep myself entertained.

I am noticing some changes and I really am encouraged.

Until the Next Time!  Get off the scale!!! Stay tuned for my new website coming soon!

Progress Journal: Started From the Bottom and now I'm back at the bottom. Can't zip up my pants...

Anybody who has ever watched Good Times knows what Florida is saying in this iconic scene.  That was how I felt when trying to pull on a pair of pants last week.

Back at the Bottom

Yep.  I'm back at the bottom.  According to the scale, I am about 15 pounds heavier than when I started this, "trying to be a figure competitor" journey.  I had to laugh.  Here I had spent all this time and money because I thought if I got into better shape and did a competition, then that would raise my stock in some capacity.  Fast forward to  now not only did I NOT do a competition, I am 15 pounds heavier AND I've moved leaps and bounds in my career and otherwise.  

Go Figure.  My face look's like this little's boy when I think about that lesson learned.

How am I handling being back at the bottom?  I think I'm okay with it.  Based on all the research I have read about slowed metabolisms this is completely normal and frankly I would rather be like this with 15 extra pounds over having panic attacks about food or hating the gym.  It is what is.  Besides if you don't try, flop, and get back up then you're not taking enough risks and life is boring.

In clothing estimates, I believe I have about 5 pounds to go before the pants go back on.  

At first I found myself angry and frustrated, because not only did I NOT accomplish my goal of getting on stage,  I also gained more weight in the process!  But after reflecting, I decided that was it was a great experience overall.  I learned so much about programming, nutrition, solidified my message about body image/self worth, and even got a new muse out of it....so it wasn't a total loss.

Nutrition

I believe I had a  nutrition breakthrough this week.  One of the things I used to love to do cook healthy recipes that I got from bodybuilding.com or one of my fitness cookbooks.  I liked to make protein bread to eat for breakfast.  When I started training for the fitness competition, I stopped doing that and ate the same boring foods a lot of the time.  It's taken me a while but this week I baked my first batch of protein bread in over a year and a half.  It's red velvet and you can find the recipe on my health coach page.  

For me it felt like a step in the right direction.  I am getting out of restrictive mindsets that "oh you can't eat that" and food anxieties and back into holistic mindsets.

I do have to laugh that I thought I was such a mess before and now I'm 15 pounds heavier and I'm trying to get back to where I was.  Sometimes the grass is NOT greener on the other side.  

Another step forward was that last week I went to Ghiradelli's with one of my favorite people and her daughter who were visiting from out of town.  There are no pictures of the sundae because we murdered them.  I ate my Sea Salt Caramel Sundae with no guilt and the next day just went back to my regular food.  I opted not to have dessert on my free day Sunday because those Sundaes did the trick.  There was no obsessing or being anxious about it.  When your friends are in town and come to visit and you go to Ghiradelli's square, you eat ice cream sundaes.

Training

Ahhhh Training is fun again!  LOL!  Right now I'm strength training 3 on/ 1 off with the 4th day being cardio because I was starting to feel winded while teaching indoor cycling.  No bueno.  Just to get back into the swing of things I did traditional body part training focusing more on super sets and tri sets.  

This coming week, I'm switching to Total Body Training 5x per week, same 3 on/1 off schedule.  Isn't this overtraining?  Nope.  I'm doing mostly Tri-sets (Three Exercises in a Row) and high repetitions.  Why?  Because I want to see some development and it's time to try something different. 

I've been reading Coach Scott Abel's book about Hardgainers and he explains that people who want to see development (aka looks like they lift) are told to lift as heavy as they can but STILL don't really see development.  It's a true statement.  We tell people to lift heavy and many still don't have the development to show for it.  They just have injuries and frustration...*raises hand*

Not to mention with this style of lifting, the idea is to focus on your muscles lifting the weights and not the weights lifting you.  The idea is to engage the muscles not chase PR's.  I've been applying these principles to my strength workouts: decreased poundages by about 20% and supersetting/tri-setting.  I have to say that I feel the muscles that are engaged so I am looking forward to 4 weeks of this and then evaluation.

 Can't be afraid of change and if you want something different, then you have to DO something different.

Goals/Progress

First, I don't want to get caught up on numbers. would like to be back to where I was originally but I don't know if that can happen.  I can't force it.  All I can do is be consistent with my eating and exercise.  You can't force your body to do what it doesn't want to do.  All that happens is it will rebel. If you try to force the body to lose weight when you've been restricting for so long it will simply ignore you and then do everything it can to hold on to every calorie.

I have a goal in mind to challenge myself to live out the message of body acceptance and body image.  I look forward to sharing it.

No progress photos just yet.  I would like to see some progress first before I share but I am confident that I will be able to show why you need to do something different and listen to your body.

Until the next time!!!

The Difference is WHY...This is my Why. What's yours?

First off that is one of my favorite Lenny K songs.  Look it up if you don't know it...

For a few months this past Spring I lost my enthusiasm for working out.  I still went but it was no longer invigorating and empowering.  It had become boring and it felt like drudgery. It wasn't just the lack of exciting gym members I was really just over it.  

During my time of reflection about my whole fitness journey, I was not hard on myself about missing a day of working out.  I skipped when necessary and left if I just wasn't feeling it.  During that whole reflection time, I came to an important realization about my WHY this past year or so regarding fitness.

It was all because I was afraid to get fat.  

Working out had become some sort of fear based activity when before it was fun and empowering.  It had become this whole exercise in futility to force my body to do things it didn't want to do.  With each workout I found myself getting more and more annoyed because things seemed to be going in the opposite direction and I was sick of it.

That should have been my first clue to step away and get a grip on things but it didn't stop until I actually found myself hurt.  I think I overdid it with one of my low back extensors and was forced back into mobility and rest mode.

I can say that in the last few weeks my mojo has completely returned. I look forward to workouts.  They are fun again.  They aren't about losing weight or because I'm afraid to get fat. My workouts are no longer fear based.  My workouts have become high energy, hard working, and all about having a good time and we didn't even get any new exciting gym members... 

If I am being honest that trip to the Fit Expo and electrifying seminar did solidify my observations on social media and provide me with a new muse so I am good.

These are My Why's

As I rediscovered my passion for working out and exercise, I started asking myself WHY I like to exercise and I thought I would share them.

It makes me feel empowered and that I CAN....

Working out makes you feel powerful.  It makes you feel like you can do what you put your mind to.  So many people run around with an, "I can't" attitude and they don't even try.  I think every time you challenge yourself and don't die, then you grow more confident that you can try something else scary.

It helps me to lie  surprise people when I tell them my age

I usually tell the Junior Mints  that I graduated from High School in the 20th Century and leave it at that, but when I tell people how old I am they are generally surprised and we know from a scientific perspective that a major cause of aging is poor nutrition and inactivity.  You have no energy and body parts sag when you aren't active.  The only time I feel my age is when it comes to music and staying up late.  Other than that I feel stronger and better than I did in my 20's.

Someday I will be a Mother and I won't be in my 20's

I like to look ahead and I am not just focused on the now.  We need to start learning how to live a disciplined life in whatever season we are in because when the next one hits, we need to be somewhat prepared.  Trying to keep up with kids with little energy and poor dietary habits sets a poor example for kids and is exhausting for the parents.  No thank you.  It's important to me to live a life before my kids that I want them to model.  This would include their health.

I still want to be able to move, dance, and work into my 80's and 90's

This is in my blood so I know it can be done.  I want to be enjoying my life well into my 80's and 90's.  I don't want to be one of those people who just sits around and does nothing but watch TV all day.  I want to still be active, vibrant, dancing, and even teaching/training people well into The Golden Years.  Yes I want to carry on the spirit of Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia!  

The Gym can still be fun and invigorating

I just feel so much better when I am done.  I have such a good time with my music.  You get some Michael, Prince, Beyonce, Rihanna , Britney, and old school Hip Hop going and it's a party without all the expensive drinks and having to get dressed up.  I truly have fun when I'm there.

I want to LIVE better

Studies continue to come out proving that exercise is more than just about the physical.  It can lessen the risk of Alzheimer's, Dementia, depression, and so on.  I want to LIVE BETTER.  I don't want to go through life with no energy, no confidence, and not able to do anything because I'm too tired and unhealthy.

What's Your Why?

I would encourage you to re-examine your reasons for working out and if all you can come up with is:  I want to lose weight or I don't want to get fat, then I encourage you to change your perspective. What are the positive reasons you are working out?  Going the fear based route is sure to produce frustration when things don't go the way you'd hope.

Take the focus off of the scale, your weight, and all of that and put it back into improving quality of Life.  I can guarantee things will change then!

Half Time! Is Your Search for the perfect diet a waste of time?

Well here we are getting ready to go into the last half of 2015?  Where did the time go?  I have to ask where are you right now?  Are you better or worse off than when you started the year or are you in the same place?

For me, I'm in a really strange place.  I'm heavier than I've been in a while but I feel amazing and a sense of peace.  My weight doesn't define who I am as a person.  It doesn't mean anything unless I give it a specific meaning. 



 I've decided to consciously put on muscle mass for the next few months and that means eating more and lifting heavier.  In order to do this though, I have to EAT and that means gaining weight which I am okay with.  I'm not eating crap mind you...I'm still adhering to my principles:

1. Fresh Food is best/Minimal Processed Foods
2. Plenty of Water
3. Minimizing Sugar Intake
4. Eat Breakfast
5.Minimizing Alcohol Intake

This is not a diet plan.  Those are my principles for living better and maintenance.  If you follow these principles, then guaranteed your health will improve and you will feel better.  My thing is this:  I don't want to get stuck having to eat 1500 calories or less because my metabolism has down regulated to the point where that's all my metabolism can handle.  After being in a caloric deficit for a year or more, I have to work on improving my metabolic adaptation.  Therefore I am eating more, no cardio, and strength training.  It will make it that much easier when I enter a fat loss phase.

So right now I am getting back into the weight room after focusing on Movement Training for the past 2 months.  I still have my movement training using different tools such as this resistance band.  but now I am incorporating Total Body Weight Workouts 2x per week.  

My Current Workout Schedule Looks like this

Monday:  Total Body Strength Training
Tuesday:  Loaded Movement Training
Wednesday:  Pi-Yo Fitness (Movement and Core Training)
Thursday:  Total Body Strength Training
Friday:  Dynamic Flexibility/Core
Saturday:  Bootcamp Style Circuits w/Treadmill Intervals

The purpose is to continue to work on my range of motion and core strength before going back into a Strength Program so that i can get the most out of my strength workouts and minimize injury.  I have become an advocate of periodizing workouts.  Range of Motion, Movement, Strength, and Fat Loss /Conditioning should all have their seasons in your programs.  It helps to avoid plateaus, boredom, and minimizing injury.  I am going to have resources available that explains all of this in more detail.

Is the Search for the Perfect Diet a waste of time?

Yes.

I see it on social media all the time.  All these gurus and coaches have the perfect diets and perfect meal plans that are going to get you results.  My thing is always...okay I want to see receipts after ONE YEAR.  Here's the thing:  Diets DO work.  You will get results on many of these plans but can you sustain those results long term?  Will your body keep responding or get stuck?

What we know about diets are that most people cannot sustain the results.  They gain the weight back and many times gain back even more.   There's a lot of reasons for this and many of them have nothing to do with food.  A lot of it is environment and most of it is mindset.  Stay tuned people.  I'm bringing the heat in the second half of 2015.

Yes your search for the perfect diet is a waste of time because there is no perfect.  People keep coming up with these rules and restrictions disguised as the perfect diet, but all they are doing is eliminating calories from the diet and giving people something else to focus and feel they have control over.

Control

I'm going to drop this right here and Ill be talking more about this but if you feel like you need to have control and rules over your food, then you have zero control and you are just adding to your anxiety and you will eventually crash and burn.  Eating disorders are not about food but about the need to have some type of CONTROL over one's life and sadly that's becoming a mainstream norm.

Do you know what control is?  Going into the store and seeing Justin's Peanut Butter cups and saying "Nah I'm good.  I don't want those so I'm not buying them." It's not sitting there saying to myself "I can't do this because it's against the rules and I will get fat."  

It's going out to eat and saying I'm getting the grilled chicken and rice because that's what I want tonight and giving ZERO effs about it.  It's also going out for a meal, enjoying  it, moving on with my life, and on to the next one.  If you have control, then you have the freedom to make your own choices because that's what YOU want to do...not because of restrictions and self imposed rules.

What should you do?

I'm glad you asked.  I will have resources available (Hopefully by next month) that helps people really get to the ROOT of the problem.  It's not your food, it's not your meal plan, it's not the perfect coach or guru, it's none of that!  It's your deeply ingrained attitudes and mindsets about food.  It's about where you are in your life right now.  It's about your environment, relationships with people (or lack thereof), it's about your MINDSET.

Stay tuned Friends....It's time to Say Something Different.