20 Pounds Later and the War is Over: No More Dieting

Suppose  you were sick and the doctor told you that if you continue your current behavior and lifestyle that you would have an 83% chance of getting sick again. Would you STOP what you are doing or would you continue on?

Let's say that you had money to invest and your financial planner told you that he had an 83% FAILURE rate.  Would you invest with that person?

I am guessing that you would STOP your current lifestyle and you would not invest your money with that broker.

CONSIDER THIS

In her book women food and God, Geneen Roth cites an April 2007 UCLA Study of the effectiveness of dieting, researchers found that one of the best predictors of WEIGHT GAIN was having lost weight on a diet at some point during the years before the study started. Among those who were followed for fewer than two years, 83% gained back more weight than they had lost. Another study found that people who went on diets were worse off than people who didn't.

I gained 20 pounds and I did not freak out

As many of you know, I have been off of the scale since about August and this past Saturday for the first time in about 2 months I stepped on the scale.  I was semi surprised at what I saw.  I was 20 pounds heavier than when I started this, "You want to be a figure competitor" journey.  Now I do have my hair braided with two packs of hair so I'm sure that accounts for some of the gain but I did not lose scale weight from the summer.  I did lose inches though but not scale weight.

I put the scale away and then left to go to the gym.  I was surprised by my own reaction.  I did not freak out.  I did not think about what was the next diet I was going to go on, what coach I should sign up with for a new meal plan, or what I needed to do in order to get the scale down to where it needed to be.

I just moved on.

Ending the War With Myself

I have officially called a cease fire on the war without end that I've imposed upon myself.  I'm reading Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth.  We discussed a lot of her work in the Eating Psychology group I went to during the summer.  Her work is about discovering WHY we compulsively eat when we are not hungry for food.

The chapters I read this past weekend summed up the last year or two of my life perfectly.  Being obsessed with meal plans, workouts, and all of that gave me something to do.  It gave me a distraction from facing the real issues.  Earlier this year, a woman named Ingrid told me that all of my distractions were going to be cut.  I realized that Fitness had become a HUGE distraction.  It's great to be busy obsessing about food plans and exercise so that you don't have to confront the bigger issues in your life.  Since this year I have confronted those issues, faced them head on, and released a lot of the toxic mindsets that drove those unhealthy behaviors I just can't get that moved about the scale.

The truth is that it is going to take time for my body to heal itself and go back to homeostasis after 15 months of caloric restriction and exercise.  It's not going to be any quick fix or 21 day challenge.  It's going to take TIME and since I'm alive...I still have Time on my side.  However I am not going to put my life on hold until my scale gets back to where I want it to be.  I will not let my life pass me by.

Dieting and Exercise as Punishment

While Reading Women Food and God this past weekend, I had what Oprah calls an A-ha Moment.  It was this line in the book that screamed at me:

"As if punishing themselves with dietary rigors will make up for something inherently damaged, fundamentally wrong with their very existence." Being thin becomes the test.  They must suffer humiliation and torment. "

That is what I had been doing.  I will be honest.  I HATE the current fitness motivational psychology on social media.  It's based around shaming, extreme vanity, self obsession, and punishment.  Listen to the way they talk:  KILLING themselves in the gym, being MARTYRS for their diets,  GLORYING in feeling like they are PUNISHING themselves.  

Look at this meme.  Punishment.  You have earned your pain?  For someone who doesn't feel good about themselves, this is a TERRIBLE message. Self Loathing people perpetually beat themselves up for not being more.  It's the mindset of, "I suck.  I'm a loser so I deserve to beat myself up in the gym."  According to this meme you've won when you're in pain? GIVE ME A BREAK!  If you're in pain every workout, then it won't be long before you won't be able to work out.

I love the great Lee Haney's saying, "Stimulate don't Annihilate." That has become my fitness philosophy and it is the truth.  I have felt more worked cutting back on weights, going Full Range of Motion, and really stimulating the muscles than just throwing weights around.  There seems to be all of this annihilation going on in the Fitness industry and for what purpose?  How is this helping people?  

I have jumped off of that train.  My message is to LIVE BETTER. Watching all those people who trained crazy for years barely being able to move in their 40's and 50's because of multiple surgeries is enough to let me know that if I want to be the raunchy woman into her 70's and 80's that is not the way.

A Cease Fire on Myself

I'm done fighting this pointless and useless war on myself.  We as women will never be happy. We see women who supposedly have it all still get nitpicked.  Gorgeous Gigi Hadid got it from the body fascists not too long ago because she doesn't look like all the girls. She had to speak out about having boobs, butt, and thighs!  She's a woman for heaven's sake! I mean really?  If 20 year old supermodels aren't safe, then the rest of us may as well give it up!

After the Nor Cal Fitness Summit, I know that I have bigger projects to complete that are more important than immersing myself in the war without end on my weight.  To be honest with you, I am doing everything that I advocate in my programs.  I am eating real food, I have an eating routine and I don't eat between meals, I exercise 5-6 days a week (workouts are shorter and more intense), not taking too many stimulants (other than coffee), getting plenty of sleep, and drinking water.  I refuse to put my body through more stress of dieting and too much exercising. 

No More Dieting

Think about this:

one of the best predictors of WEIGHT GAIN was having lost weight on a diet at some point during the years before the study started.

I have read other studies that said that the people who gain the most weight in adulthood are those who went on the most diets. 

I believe it!  Right now I am 20 pounds above where I was when I first started this whole thing.  When I started, I was eating the same way I am now, worked out because I enjoyed it, and could fit into my clothes.  I go on a diet to try and get onstage, lose 18 pounds and now I have gained it all back plus 2 pounds more, and cannot fit into a good portion of my clothes.

The solution is not another diet.  The solution is to eat real food, exercise, not stress out about weight and let the body heal and recover.  It has only been six months since I stopped the insanity so I have to be patient and give myself time.  I'm doing the right things and I have to let nature take its course.

I have talked to people who have lost weight and kept it off for good and all of them tell me that they don't diet.  Now that's not to say that they don't cut back if they're going on a vacation or have a big event to do but they don't live their lives on meal plans because you can't LIVE that way.

This past weekend was Halloween and I had just one piece of candy.  I had a Mini Snickers that I got from another instructor at the gym.  It was great because that's my favorite candy and that's all I wanted. I didn't need to restrict myself about the candy because Halloween Candy doesn't really turn me on but I do like Mini Snickers and Mini Twix.  Not having restrictions makes a big difference which is something that I want people to understand.  The more restrictive you are, the more you end up focusing on food.

Announcement: Support Group

Starting December 1, I will be forming a Facebook Support Group for Women revolving around nutrition, exercise, and body image.  I am getting feedback from women that they do not have support and encouragement.  The Holidays can be tough with all of the stress, emotions, family, loneliness, and grief. Sometimes you need a place where people know your name and you can receive encouragement.

Until Next Time,

LIVE BETTER!