Losing weight did not make me any happier. It didn't make me more successful and it really had nothing to do with anything that had any substantive value in my life. As a matter of fact, I was hungry, tired, developing disordered eating tendencies, and feeling very unlike myself. As I continue to say, I will take the 20 extra pounds over feeling like I did last year.
So I've made the decision to stop dieting. I've done this before and it was called living. 2 years ago I was living and didn't know how good I had it but I thought there was something better and perhaps there was: There was this message, this knowledge, and this truth that I can now say, "This much I know is true"
Dieting and Weight Loss isn't the Real Issue
Your issue is the one you don't want to acknowledge
It's the issue that causes you to turn to food when you feel lonely or empty
OR
It's the Issue that causes you to be desperate enough to go from diet to diet, person to person trying to find the cure to save you from your thoughts that you aren't enough.
You're going to be hearing this a lot from me in the coming months because I think it bears repeating. I have come up with 5 Reasons I decided to stop dieting and hope that you take some time to consider it as well.
1. It doesn't work
If a plane had an over 80% failure rate would you get on?
If there was over an 80% chance that by taking a pill you could get very sick or even die, would you take it?
If anything was designed to fail over 80% of the time
, would you consider it successful?
, would you consider it successful?
My guess would be No and so why don't we want to believe this when it comes to dieting?
Some of these companies have wised up to the fact that diets don't work and are now calling them challenges. It's still the same stuff. Food restriction, shakes, and a diet. I'm not here to argue but why don't you call it a 365 day challenge if it's a lifestyle thing? Why can't people continue with it after the allotted time? Easy because it's designed to provide quick results to the desperate and get them to believe THIS is the answer. If it was sustainable and long term, then why not call it the Lifestyle challenge?
Some of these companies have wised up to the fact that diets don't work and are now calling them challenges. It's still the same stuff. Food restriction, shakes, and a diet. I'm not here to argue but why don't you call it a 365 day challenge if it's a lifestyle thing? Why can't people continue with it after the allotted time? Easy because it's designed to provide quick results to the desperate and get them to believe THIS is the answer. If it was sustainable and long term, then why not call it the Lifestyle challenge?
Well I guess that's not as sexy to be able to tell people that _____ lost 8 pounds in 7 days. Yes because most of that was water retention and on low calorie diets people tend to lose fat AND muscle which will slow down the metabolism....BUT carry on.
Diets don't work. At my lowest last year I was almost 40 pounds lighter than I am at this moment. Some of that was water lost due to low carbohydrates but my body has definitely rebounded from my experience.
Diets don't work. You know it and I know it. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same result. Remember that woman from the 1990's Susan Powter? She was right! STOP THE INSANITY.
2. Dieting doesn't attack the REAL issues because it's not about the food.
It's not about the food. The food is just a SYMPTOM of what the REAL issues are. The issues that you don't want to face. My issue was that I never thought I was good enough. I was never enough just being who I was so maybe if I worked harder, if I FIXED MYSELF, then things would change.
They didn't and they never do. I'm going through this Mindset Performance Institute Training right now and when I tell you Brian Grasso read my mail, he read my mail! My mindset was all screwed up. I thought that if I worked hard enough, if I suffered enough, if I put myself through this enough THEN I would be worthy of my life.
Welp didn't happen. Yeah we can say it was because I never ACTUALLY accomplished my goal but that wasn't it. When I finally got to "THERE" nothing changed because my internal environment was toxic. No matter what it would never have been good enough. It was a moving target because I never thought I was enough.
This year I have done a lot of fun things, I have stepped into doing thing I have always wanted to do in the fitness industry, and I'm doing it 20 pounds heavier. Nobody cares and dare I say that I don't care either. What I care about is telling the truth and preaching what I'm practicing. I am here to tell you that you don't have to wait until you "get there" to LIVE. You can do all of that now!
This year I have done a lot of fun things, I have stepped into doing thing I have always wanted to do in the fitness industry, and I'm doing it 20 pounds heavier. Nobody cares and dare I say that I don't care either. What I care about is telling the truth and preaching what I'm practicing. I am here to tell you that you don't have to wait until you "get there" to LIVE. You can do all of that now!
3. I'm not falling for the tricks of the diet industry anymore.
Leave it to the diet/fitness industry and all of the answers to our problems are in six pack abs and looking perfect. Whatever product they are peddling is the answer to all that ails us.
But....It's not about the food. Yes I am going to continue saying it. Nobody can answer the question about why you emotionally binge eat potato chips and cookies when you're sad, stressed, empty, lonely, or whatever except for YOU. Having a #fitspo tell you to, "Suck it up buttercup" isn't a strategy and will not change anything. No supplement or coach can solve those internal problems. YOU are the only person that can flip the script on that one.
But....It's not about the food. Yes I am going to continue saying it. Nobody can answer the question about why you emotionally binge eat potato chips and cookies when you're sad, stressed, empty, lonely, or whatever except for YOU. Having a #fitspo tell you to, "Suck it up buttercup" isn't a strategy and will not change anything. No supplement or coach can solve those internal problems. YOU are the only person that can flip the script on that one.
There is no one perfect diet and I have heard many people say that the reason everyone is jumping from diet to diet is because they refuse to believe in simplicity. It's too simple to eat when you're hungry, have a routine, eat fresh food, drink water, and such. No you want complicated diets, magic beans, and such to make you think that it's really working.
If all these diets and supplements worked and were sustainable, then why do we have so many? Why is the fitness industry a billion dollar business, yet obesity and chronic diseases are on the rise? Why are less people active than before? Why is the overall diet of Americans still rated as poor?
It's because it's all lies to get you to buy the latest products or services. No trainer, no nutritionist, no supplement guru can do for you what you can do for yourself which is to ask yourself some hard questions and get to the ROOT of the Problem.
4. It Encourages More Self Loathing and a Failure Mindset
Sorry y'all but I'm tired of these fitness martyrs going in to do battle with Dumbbells and barbells. I'm tired of listening to self proclaimed #FitFam soliders going to be CRUCIFIED with the weights. I'm tired of listening to people FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR CARDIO. I mean For Real?
I don't buy it for one minute. I believe that a lot of the validation seeking selfies and this overly dramatic language is to mask self loathing and low self esteem.
When you like yourself you tend to use words like INVIGORATING, ALIVE, VITAL, HEALTHY, STIMULATING, OVERCOMING.
When you don't like yourself and think punishing yourself is a good thing,You use words like SUFFER, KILL, FAILURE, DEATH, ANNIHILATE. Yes..words do matter.
When you like yourself you tend to use words like INVIGORATING, ALIVE, VITAL, HEALTHY, STIMULATING, OVERCOMING.
When you don't like yourself and think punishing yourself is a good thing,You use words like SUFFER, KILL, FAILURE, DEATH, ANNIHILATE. Yes..words do matter.
With a self loathing mentality, whatever you do it's not good enough. You were in the gym for an hour? NO! If you're on a diet, then you should be there for 2 hours. Let me tell you I got a life to live and my workouts are pretty intense these days. 45-75 minutes tops and I'm sweating, heart rate is up, full range of motion (BUTT TO THE GROUND), and I have to sit for 5 minutes at the end but doggone it I feel ALIVE.
When I eat, I'm eating foods that fuel, nourish, and help me to feel energetic and alive. I'm not hoarding cookies, suffering for the sake of chicken breast, or any of that nonsense.
I believe that dieting just encourages those that already feel like crap about themselves to find something else to complain about how they're not good enough. Plus once you inevitably fail at the diet or fail at whatever you thought you were going to get at the end of the diet, you're back to square one and eating the Ben and Jerry's or off to find the next answer.
Without dieting, I no longer have the time to focus on issues that encourage me to feel bad about myself and really have no bearing at all on my success or contentment.
5. Once you take away the restriction....you don't care anymore.
Every day I tell myself that I can eat WHATEVER I want. Whether it's the Cheese Danish and Full Fat Latte or the Pizza and wings. Whatever I want.
I don't eat them.
Why? Because I don't really want them but when I was in restrictive mode I ate things that I hadn't eaten since I was a child like Pop Tarts or I would crave things like Nilla Wafers. I couldn't imagine eating those things now.
Halloween was just a few weeks ago and truthfully, Halloween Candy does not turn me on but I do like Mini Snickers. Since one of the instructors from the gym was handing out candy that morning, I took ONE Mini Snickers. That's all I wanted. Had I spent my time obsessing about the mini Snickers I probably would have bought a bag, and finished the whole thing after vowing only to eat one.
My other example of this is Justin's Vanilla Almond Butter that I now buy at Target because I refuse to pay $15 at Whole Foods. I eat the almond butter on an apple, rice cake, or Ezekiel English Muffin and guess what? I can keep the jar in my house and it lasts longer than a week. Truthfully I forget about it a lot of the time. Honestly, if I was sitting up here obsessing about NOT eating the Almond Butter I would probably eat it way more.
Once you take away the taboo, the restriction, and this obsession with trying to control every single thing a funny thing happens: You just stop caring and you allow yourself to let food nourish you and sustain you. You stop being a slave to food because you know it's not about the food. You can address the real issues.
Some people have the opposite problem: They eat everything because they've given up and have determined themselves to be a failure. So why even bother? The fitness landscape on social media doesn't help. You're a horrible person if you're overweight and emotional problems? Forget it! Go lift something and then take a selfie! That will cure your problems.
You need to stop dieting because diets don't work and you're just going to go around and around the same mountain. Even if you do lose weight, most likely you will gain it back plus some because you've failed yet again.
It's time to stop and get off the diet crazy train.
Won't you Join Me?
My other example of this is Justin's Vanilla Almond Butter that I now buy at Target because I refuse to pay $15 at Whole Foods. I eat the almond butter on an apple, rice cake, or Ezekiel English Muffin and guess what? I can keep the jar in my house and it lasts longer than a week. Truthfully I forget about it a lot of the time. Honestly, if I was sitting up here obsessing about NOT eating the Almond Butter I would probably eat it way more.
Once you take away the taboo, the restriction, and this obsession with trying to control every single thing a funny thing happens: You just stop caring and you allow yourself to let food nourish you and sustain you. You stop being a slave to food because you know it's not about the food. You can address the real issues.
Some people have the opposite problem: They eat everything because they've given up and have determined themselves to be a failure. So why even bother? The fitness landscape on social media doesn't help. You're a horrible person if you're overweight and emotional problems? Forget it! Go lift something and then take a selfie! That will cure your problems.
You need to stop dieting because diets don't work and you're just going to go around and around the same mountain. Even if you do lose weight, most likely you will gain it back plus some because you've failed yet again.
It's time to stop and get off the diet crazy train.
Won't you Join Me?
So I ask you: Won't you join me? Will you stop dieting? Will you confront WHY you're doing what you do when it comes to food and your health? Will you answer why you don't think you're worthy of taking care of yourself so you stuff yourself with food to make yourself feel better? Will you talk about why you come home and feed yourself to try and feed the emptiness you're experiencing?
I am starting a Holiday Support Group and we begin Dec 1. I still have a few spots available. The purpose of this group is to help people navigate through this stressful and emotionally charged time of year. The majority of weight gained by Americans happens through the holiday season and they never lose it. This group will provide tips, workouts, but most importantly help you to pinpoint and empower yourself so that you don't let yourself be controlled by food.
It's time to LIVE BETTER
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