Fitness Competition Journal: To HELL with Giving Up

Last weekend On Saturday July 5, I was ready to quit life.

OK I'm being dramatic but I was ready to give up on everything in my life that I have been believing for and investing in.  It wasn't just the fitness competition but EVERYTHING else.  If you're interested in spirituality and such, then you can read my blog about my spiritual journey where I talk about this more in depth.

But last Saturday I was just ready to give up for several reasons.

1) I decided I didn't look like any of the people on Instagram who compete and I am wasting my time, energy, and money on something that most likely will not happen.  I also decided that even if I make it to the get onstage part, then I will get up and look like a fool because I do not look like anybody's figure competitor.

2) After the meltdown on Sunday and a few Teddy Grahams on the Fourth of July Night, I decided that I did not have the stuff it takes to make it through the contest prep process and I can't do it because it's going to get harder and I'm just going to keep failing.

3) Nothing seems to be happening - I feel like I am doing all of this believing and working and nothing is happening.  No excitement at the gym...nothing is happening and I'm just fooling myself so I should give up and just stick to stalking Simeon Panda on social media.  This would be a great place to have him make his debut on my blog because

a) it's my blog
b) I believe in putting your vision down on paper.  
c) It's my blog and I can do what I want

I wonder why there aren't people like him at my gym, but with my track record this is probably for the best because I most likely would be hauled down to 850 Bryant on harassment charges.

Simeon Panda

You know Simeon Panda sure is fine AND he has a British accent.  I would have to pull out  the old school for this one.  Prince of course... U got the Look!  U got the Hook!  Sho nuff do be cooking in my book!  Ya face is jamming!  Ya body's hecka slamming.  

Even Rick James is necessary for this one:  There's no dictionary book to say how you look. Holy Smokes and Gee whiz! COLD BLOODED! 

OK I am getting totally off track here...Where was I?  Oh right...Giving up.

Sigh.

So the first order of business was to acknowledge that I was feeling this way, reflect, and move on.

Acknowledging the Feelings

Rather than resisting the feelings, I decided to acknowledge that I felt this way.  I didn't try to muster any faux bravado and say some empty cliche catch phrases.  

The truth was:  I was feeling discouraged and defeated.  Why was I feeling this way?  

First I was comparing myself to others and that's always a great way to get into the pits. 
I also stumbled (again) so I didn't feel like it was worth trying anymore. 
 I acknowledged it.  I didn't judge it but I acknowledged it.  
I also didn't waste my time justifying the way I felt.  I acknowledged that's how I felt and I had to be in that space because it was where I was and trying to pretend otherwise wasn't facing reality.

During the workout to keep myself encouraged, I was journaling in between sets.  I would write some encouraging mantras.  I also wrote how I was feeling but I kept going.

I asked myself what would happen if I gave up. I knew that I would feel even WORSE about myself so that wasn't an alternative.

Reflecting

When I got home from the gym, I decided to spend some time reflecting.  I looked over the journal I have been keeping of this experience.  I have come such a long way and there have been so many a-ha moments and growth opportunities along the way.  I reflected and read some encouraging materials that addressed the waiting and endurance process.  It helped to confirm a lot of what I was feeling was normal and I felt reassured about where I am in my journey

Moving On

I decided that I wasn't camping in the wilderness of defeat and discouragement.  I was out of there.  All of meals were on point Saturday and Sunday I got up to do my cardio and had one of the best sessions I've had.

On Sunday I received encouragement not to give up and to keep going.  I also received my mantra for this week and probably the rest of the contest prep (no matter how long it is)

TO HELL WITH GIVING UP!

So I've moved on from wanting to give up in this moment and I'm moving forward.  Before it's all said and done, I will probably want to quit again but the vision is too great, the desire is too deep, and I've come too far to give up just because it's taking longer than I thought.

Don't Stop Believing

My job is to believe.  Point Blank and the period.  

When you believe the vision, the dream, and the desire it all flows from there.  Your actions will flow from that place because there isn't another choice. It's about my belief that this is an important mark on my journey and I am going to finish it.

So if you have a dream or vision within I am encouraging you to keep going.  It doesn't have to be health or fitness related, but if there's something that you feel is calling your name and you want to do it.  Go for it and don't give up.

Your job is to believe it will happen no matter how discouraging it is, how it seems that there are no results, or it doesn't seem worth it. You must be unrelenting in your belief and vision otherwise discouragement, defeat, and giving up are imminent and your dreams will die.  Then what?

TO HELL WITH GIVING UP.

See you onstage.

5 Reasons You are not Hitting Your Fat Loss Goals (that have nothing to do with food or exercise)

Get Your Mind Right

Get Your Mind Right! is one of my favorite mantras.  So many people attempt to make changes in their lives without setting their minds to changing.  In order for you to hit your fat loss goals you must get your mind right.

In my experience as a fitness professional the main reason people do not succeed in hitting their health goals, has little to do with nutrition and exercise and everything to do with their mindsets.  

In this blog series, we are going to look at 5 major reasons why people do not hit their fat loss goals.  These are in no particular order, but I would like us to take some time to really marinate on the first two:

Why am I not hitting my goals?

You want to commit to a healthier lifestyle and you have made some changes, but you aren't seeing any results.  You may have started cleaning up your eating, juicing, taking a weight loss supplement, and have joined the gym.  Yes, there has been SOME improvement, but you're not where you want to be and it doesn't look like you're going to get there anytime soon.

What gives?

You can't isolate the physical dimension of your life

My own personal philosophy of health and wellness is that we are 3 dimensional beings: Mind, Body, and Spirit. Trying to compartmentalize each dimension does not work.  Each of these dimensions are interdependent on one another and trying to fix one without working on all of the others is futile and will ultimately lead to failure.

I can tell you as someone who is training for purely physical reasons that my mind and spirit is involved in the process.  My mind has got to be COMMITTED to the goal that I have set for myself.  My spirit is what keeps me going every day and helps me to persevere past the discouragement, the negative self talk, and gives me the faith to BELIEVE that I will hit my goals.  Having these 3 dimensions interdependent on one another has given me a healthy perspective of competition.  It isn't about thinking my life is going to suddenly get better because I have competed onstage in a bikini and heels...it's about fulfilling my goal to myself.

Why am I not seeing results?.

So let's look at 5 Reasons why you are not hitting your fat loss goals that have nothing to do with diet or exercise.

1.  You are making your weight the sole focus of your unhappiness.

One of the Biggest Loser contestants said it best.  “I lost all this weight but I still have a mortgage, credit card debt, and student loans.”  She learned a lesson most people learn when they hit their fitness goals:  It isn't going to solve all of your problems.  If you're miserable at 25% Body Fat, then you will be miserable at 2% Body Fat.

Now does losing body fat help you to feel better and give you more energy? Yes of course!  I think everyone should try to be the healthiest version of themselves and I KNOW that exercise helps to improve your mood and outlook on life, but if you're one of these people who say,

If only I lost 30 lbs my entire life would be different.

I have news for you:  No it wouldn't because those same insecurities and problems you have would manifest themselves in a different form once you lost weight.  

When people make weight the sole focus of their unhappiness this motivates them to try every quick fix that is on the market.: Lose 10 lbs in 10 hours by drinking cow urine and rubbing cat poop on your hands before eating!  

We all know that quick fixes do not work and people do not sustain the changes on these extreme plans and they will be right back where they started (or even worse off) and more miserable than ever.

My advice is to find out what is really making you unhappy.  I guarantee weight gain is a symptom  of your unhappiness but not the sole cause.  Perhaps you are lonely. Many people are lonely and eat to fill the void of not having anyone around.  Begin to address the loneliness issue and then become mindful of when you're eating because you're bored or lonely.

Other times people may be sad, depressed, or stressed out and this leads to binge eating.  It may be time to seek professional help for these issues and I urge people to begin to work on the inside and the changes will begin to manifest on the outside.

2. You're not ready to commit to a program/plan

There is no shame in not being ready to commit to a program and plan.  I have wanted to compete for 2 years but I knew last year I was not committed.  This year I made up my mind that I was going to do it and so I committed in my mind that I was going to follow through with it.

When it comes to people interested in my training services, I don't believe in overcoming objections. When people are ready they will come and sign up.  I will not chase people down because I don't have time for that and I'd rather pour my energy into people have committed in their minds to hit their goals.

People who are pressured into buying sessions or gym memberships do not stay with it and usually fall off because THEY did not commit to the program/plan.  The salesperson talked them into it.

On that note, let’s talk about what you’re committing to:  It doesn’t have to be about cosmetics.  When you are ready decide upon a goal. It doesn't have to be to lose bodyfat.   It could be that you want to be able to go hiking over the weekend or play basketball.  When you've decided what you want to do, COMMIT in your mind that you are going to follow through with it.

Mark my words:  If you're not committed, then you won't see your goal through. Oh yeah you may last a few weeks, but the first distraction or temptation that comes up you will fall all the way off.