Fitness Competition Journal: I'm going for it and I'm gonna enjoy the view along the way

While training this week, I looked in the mirror and thought:   This isn't as far fetched as I thought it was.  I am really going to do this!

Pipe Dreaming

I've wanted to compete for 2 years and it was always my long term goal, but long term goals sometimes feel like pipe dreams.  It is a great idea and you're like "Oh I'm gonna do it" but then you don't really know if you are or not.

This year I made up in my mind that I was going to compete.  I'm signed up with a coach and everything.  Even though I'm following the plan and doing what I am supposed to do, sometimes I still feel that this is a pipe dream.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror on Tuesday and saw my shoulders and I saw someone different.  I saw someone who meant business and I thought "I am going to get up there!  I really am!  I just have to keep going!"

It is good to know that I am finally starting to believe my own thoughts.  I am sure I will have more moments of self doubt and unbelief, but I will just PUSH past those and say "I can and I will"

One of my inspirations
IFBB Pro Figure Competitor, Candice Lewis

Progress

I am down about 4 lbs which doesn't really mean much because scale weight is so volatile, BUT I would be a liar if I said that it didn't give me relief to see the scale going down.  I have been at this for about 5 weeks, so I am glad that I haven't lost anymore than that.  If I had, then I would be concerned about losing muscle and I don't have all that much to be losing.  

I REFUSE TO GET ONSTAGE LOOKING LIKE A STRING BEAN

Most importantly when I took my measurements, I have lost an inch in my abdomen, an inch in my butt (I don't know that I'm all that happy about that), and half an inch in my waist.  Also another positive sign is that there is room in my sports bra.  That is ALWAYS a great indicator that one is losing body fat.  Most women complain about that, but for me that's not a bad thing.  

I have to send in a progress report to Roxie this week.  I'm nervous, but I know that I have made progress because we stepped up the training.  We have about another 5 weeks before we make the final decision on whether or not to go for San Jose in July.

I will start sharing my pics 12 weeks out from the show because I think that is when we will see the most change.

If I don't make it for the NPC San Jose show, then that's fine.  I will pick another show to do, but I will be up on a stage with a rhinestone suit on sometime this year.  I want to make sure to do it right.

Enjoying the View

I am enjoying the view of watching my body change.  I really like seeing my shoulders and my arms look visibly strong.  I have always admired women whose bodies look strong and powerful.  This week I have decided to enjoy the view of my body's journey along the way to competition lean.  I don't want to just love the way I look on show day because that doesn't last.  I liked the way I looked before.  It's just that now I want to see what I can accomplish giving it maximal effort.

I am also enjoying the view of my favorite gym member EVER.  I'm so glad he has decided to start coming to my gym again during this competition prep.   Even though I am banned from ever talking to him again due to overzealousness, it has really encouraged me to show up and really look like I am doing something.  Drooling, Stalking,  Admiring his beautiful presence during my workouts has really helped add to the intensity of my workouts.  I did get caught by another member during my *ahem* admiration time.  Oh well...whatever it takes right?