Fitness Competition Journal: Increasing Confidence!! It's not from where you would think though.

I am walking with an extra serving of "Giving it to the People" these days.

Most would assume it comes from dropping nearly 10 pounds and seeing my body change.

But that's not it

Most would assume my extra amount of confidence these days all stems from the physical changes, but that has little to do with it.  My increased confidence comes from a deeper place.  

It comes from:

• My refusal to give up and go off track
• Staying in the race and being determined to finish
• Willing to go ALAT (As Long As it Takes)
• Pushing Through and Making Sacrifices to hit my goals
• Pushing myself harder during my workouts
• Doing what I think I cannot do

Refusing to Give Up and go off track

This past week was a little more challenging for me because I had a couple of moments where I was really tired from working and training. I thought, "Why am I doing this again?  I don't even know if all of this is even worth it."  

I shut that one down right away.  I'm doing this because I've always wanted to do it and also to prove to myself that I can take a risk and do something really scary.  Is it worth it?  Yes!  This six months of training and preparation is totally worth a lifetime of knowing "YES I DID THAT"

I am a big believer in having experiences to draw from to teach others and this is providing a whole heck of a lot.  

Going off track

I have been tempted to go off track with my eating several times.  I have had fleeting moments of "Oh who cares!  Just go ahead and eat whatever you want!"  

I stopped that one as well.  Other than an incident with a Quest Bar that I already confessed to my coach, (She said that was okay to do once in a while), I have not gone off track.

This instills confidence because as I begin to resist temptation, I have grown stronger.  I have told myself that all these things that I really want to eat will be there after the competition.  You know what's funny?  When I do get my free meal sometimes it takes me a while to figure out to eat because nothing sounds that great.

Staying in the Race ALAT

I originally wanted to do a competition in July, but I will not be ready by that time.  My new goal is August 2.  That will be about 24 weeks or 6 months of competition training.  That's a long time.  Many people only go about 12-18 weeks, but I'm willing to go for as long as it takes to hit my goal.  

Competing is one of my  Big 5 goals for 2014  and I'm determined to cross the finish line.

Training and Working on my business is a great use of time during this season.  It is helping me build my character, helping me to add more depth to my life, and helping me to stop focusing on what I don't have.

Pushing Through!

Some days I am tired and hungry.  Some days I am sore and my legs are burning through the first few  minutes of cardio.  Sometimes I don't feel like working out or pushing myself through my workouts.

I tell myself  "Push Through!  Do your best!  You can and you will!  Keep going and stay in the race!"

I can't rely on how I feel. I have to just get it done.

Sacrifice

Competing also requires sacrifice.  I have to have my meals always prepared.  I can't just slack off and just eat whatever because I failed to prepare.  Sometimes I am so sleepy that I couldn't go out if I wanted to.  Sleep sounds better than socializing.  People ask me what I have planned for the weekend and I say: "Cooking, Work, Gym, Rest, and Chores" in that order.  It's really helping to develop discipline and focus.

No worries though!  I already have my vacations and time off planned for August and September which may include a trip to the restaurant Sweetie Pie's that's on OWN.

Stronger and Faster!  Doing what I think I cannot do!

Sure this competition is about aesthetics, but I am also gaining confidence in how much stronger I'm getting.  I've set personal records in some of my lifts such as my deadlift and my rack pulls.  When I first started my grip would prevent me from going heavier, but even that's improved!

One of the older gentlemen at my gym came up to me after a set and said, "Are you married?  Well I'm going to pray for God to bless you with a strong husband!"

I told him, " Well thank you sir!  I need all the help I can get on that front!!!!"

Yesterday when I was doing my interval training on the treadmill one of my favorite old time gospel songs came on.  I began to get very emotional thinking that I would have never thought that I would be training for a fitness competition.  Yes the girl who struggled with her weight and confidence all throughout her adolesence is about go up and rock the stage in a teeny tiny bikini and clear heels!

I am doing what I think I cannot do and THAT is a huge confidence booster.

If I focused merely on the PHYSICAL changes, then I would be discouraged because even though there is substantial progress I am not where I need to be.  Also merely relying on my physical appearance as a barometer source of how confident I should be is always going to be a losing battle.

I appreciate it sure enough and I am proud of my hard work, but I'm not drawing the majority of my confidence from my physical appearance.  

I'm not even going to lie to you I do have about 6-8 weeks before I bust out the boom boom shorts...Hey I figure I need to start practicing walking around with no clothes on!  

You know I'm bad!  You know it!  

I have resisted the temptation adding too much Michael Jackson to my workout playlist because I figured I will probably need him, Prince, and my trying to make it gospel songs when we get really close to the show and I really need the boost.

I couldn't help but put Bad on my playlist though and really I'm feeling every lyric of the song.

But They Say The Sky's
The Limit
And To Me That's Really True
And My Friends You Have
Seen Nothin'
Just Wait 'Til I Get Through . . .

Because I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
Come On
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
You Know It
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
You Know It, You Know
And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now
Just To Tell You Once Again,
Who's Bad . . .

SHAMONE!!!!!

Let's go!!!!!