Why I decided to move on from my goal of doing a Figure Competition

This has been a tough blog post to write.  It's taken me about a week or so to actually sit down and write this out because I am used to accomplishing my goals.  For 2 years I have had the big goal to compete in a Figure Competition and last year I decided to seriously prep for a competition.  I ended up losing about 18 pounds but decided to abandon ship and recomposition and do it in 2015.

I decided that this wasn't worth it to me in many respects and I have decided not to pursue this goal at this time in my life.  I have several reasons why.

• I'm not willing to incur long term damage to my mind, body, and spirit to make this happen
• I have other things that I need to pursue 
• I learned what I was supposed to learn 



July 2014, before abandoning ship.

At What Cost?

Mentally

I think my main reason to stop the presses was because I was starting to notice some really disturbing habits emerging that I was uncomfortable with.  Being anxious and consumed with thoughts about food was becoming commonplace and I was tired of it.   I cannot and I will not live like that.  I don't know what kind of fitness/health coach I would call myself if I was sitting around obsessing about eating apples and oranges.  

I was also very uncomfortable with the body dysmorphia that goes on with social media and how I was being influenced by it. In my last blog post I talked about how I was done with that entire scene. Some of what I observed was exactly like  the eating disorder support groups that I have witnessed. True I haven't always felt like super body positive and of course I was insecure at times when I gained weight but I had never been one of those people who sat around and obsessed about her appearance.  I found myself going down that road and I didn't like it.  I did not like that type of influence which is why I unsubscribed from all the fitness groups and pages where there's too much focus on appearance and an abundance of self loathing.  That type of influence was leading to a negative perspective about myself and  again what type of fitness/health coach if I had those types of skewed perspectives?

Physically

Physically I didn't do anything stupid because I was blessed with a coach that did not make me crash diet but I think that my body was tired.  While on the Daniel Fast, I only gained 2 pounds and I was eating mostly carbs and fats.  That told me something right there.  My low back extensors which had been talking to me for a while finally said "Enough" so I took the month of May off from lifting weights.  Two weeks later I feel fine and I'm prepping my body to go through some nice conditioning  and core work this summer.

My mind was already pretty much made up after the Fast but  what pushed me over the edge was talking to someone at the Nor Cal Fitness Summit who shared her experience with me and she said "At What Cost?"  Those were the exact words I needed to hear.  It simply wasn't worth it to me.  I wasn't willing to pay the cost to stand on stage.

Other Pursuits

I have other interests and endeavors that I am pursuing.  A few weeks ago I was challenged about distractions and situations that needed to be cut out of my life. Fitness had become a major distraction for me.  It kept me busy from thinking about some of the real issues that I needed to deal with.  Once I decided not to do the competition anymore, I felt relief.  I knew that I would have time to build my business, brand, and devote my time to other pursuits related to my mission and purpose in life.  

I learned what I was supposed to learn

I am Good Enough.  I don't need to stand onstage to prove that to anyone.

Uh this was probably the best part.  I think I've shared this before but it bears repeating.  I am not 22 anymore.  I'm a 30 something single woman and it can get discouraging at times. Sometimes I have felt that I need some sort of edge and marketing tool to help me out here in the marketplace.  I felt like competing would help me out in that respect but turns out I don't need competing to bring up my value.

There was a situation that I blamed on the fact that I wasn't 130 pounds.  Well guess what baby?  I was 130 pounds and the same thing happened.  I don't think any of that superficial stuff mattered. Actually I came to realize that situation went that way because of my poor behavior and not my weight.  Besides that if someone is there for YOU,all that silly superficial stuff doesn't matter.

So I learned what I was supposed to learn which is that who I am on the inside and my character is what matters not whether or not I get onstage and compete.  Competing wasn't going to solve my single problem or any problem for that matter.

It also DID NOT hurt that those in my target demographic gave me some excellent encouragement in the past few months and I weigh about 15 pounds more than last year.  Plus I learned that it is unnecessary to stretch the truth about being 22.  So....what the problem is?  

Ladies, we need to STOP believing this hype about the need to be perfect to be worth anything.  We also need  to quite listening to these advertisements and marketing campaigns who prey on women's fear of aging, insecurities, and negative body image to try to sell us STUFF that we don't need.

Take it from this 30 something who is getting older and whose demographic is getting younger depending on the day. 

Where do we Go From Here?

Well I'm due for another trip around the sun in another 3 months (G Day in August) so that means I need to continue to get better. That's my main focus.

I think my body is looking for a rest from traditional bodybuilding training for a few months.  My plan for the next 12 weeks (June, July August) is Conditioning.  That means a lot of fun circuits, complexes, conditioning, High Intensity Interval Training workouts, bodyweight core exercises, and other fun stuff.

Diet wise I am at a deficit but nothing to drastic because my goal is to be able to eat as much as possible while losing body fat.  I have a nutrition plan that I put together but I've let my body guide me as far as my meals are concerned.  Sometimes I can't get it all in and that's fine.  My body is telling me what it needs.  What's funny is that since I put the brakes on the whole thing, I haven't cared too much about food.  I'm still eating the same foods, the same amounts, with some different foods here and there but relatively the same and it's been fine. No freaking out or being consumed..I have other things to spend my time on.

I will share my progress pics on June 1.  I will share my progress every 4 weeks I will share my progress so you can see what I'm doing.

I cannot control what happens progress wise but I can control my consistency to my health and fitness program.  My goal is to be strong, healthy, and fit....like my fave Serena Williams.  

What I look like is a byproduct of all of that but not the main goal..although if my pants stop fitting then it is time to get it together.

Sometimes you may not get the outcome you desired but you will learn the lesson you are supposed to learn and that is the main objective.

To Life, Energy, and Vitality!  Live Better!!

Why I have handed in my #Fitfam card on Social Media

If you’re on social media and interested in fitness, then you may have seen the #fitfam and #fitspo hashtags.  These posts are normally posted with a selfie or video at the gym going Beast Mode, a motivational quote addressing the HATERS, or of the Tupperware from meal prep.

Over the past year and a half I’ve followed a lot of these types of fitness posts as I was on my own fitness journey. Some pages I followed because I felt they were motivational in some capacity and I followed some people because... they were hot.  One guy in particular I got really excited when I first discovered him on social media since there was little to no excitement at my own gym.

Really Really Good Looking

I lasted about 6 weeks following him because I was tired of the constant pictures of him coming out of the bathroom to give Zoolander face in his selfies.  I also grew annoyed by him posting  pictures every 5 minutes.  It was overkill TO THE MAX.  

It was a sad day when I decided to unfollow him but I realized I was completely turned off by someone who did nothing but post pictures of himself reading emails, drinking water, and going to the bathroom.

That one incident started to open my eyes to this so called Fitness Inspiration.  Is this driven by motivation or extreme insecurity and narcissism?  More importantly why was I doing it?  Why was I following it and why did I feel compelled to post this type of content.

I recently read a blog post where the woman said that she would check in with her trainer and he would say she wasn’t lean enough or she would eat something off plan so she would take a selfie and post it on Instagram or Facebook because she knew she would get so many affirming comments:

You’ve got this girl!
You look amazing!

You’re so awesome!

Reading this woman’s experience resonated with me.  I don’t take a lot of selfies at the gym but when I did it was because I wanted some sort of affirmation or validation that I was okay and Look at me!  Or it was when I was hungry and doubting the whole thing and posting a picture and receiving positive comments made me think this endeavor was worthwhile.

I started to take notice of the fitness groups I was a part of and I started thinking, “This is not good and it is not healthy.  I also realized how boring it is to constantly talk about food and exercise.  There are lots of interesting things going on out in the real world aside from GAINZ or worrying about food 24/7.  Wouldn’t you know that once I stopped with the #fitfam stuff that I stopped being so obsessed, anxious, and consumed with food. I  also LOST weight.

Sure I am carrying a few more pounds than I had been but it isn’t the end of the world.  I’m still alive and honestly it didn’t make that much of a difference when it came to any area of my life because my life is so much more than food and the gym.

Turns out I am not alone in my thinking. I participate on a women’s strength training forum and many of the women said the same thing I did.  They were over it all and un-followed most of the fitness pages.  It got old to hear about the latest tragedy of how people didn't understand why you worship chicken breasts and are jealous because you go Beast Mode.

Body Shaming

As a Fitness and Health Coach that is focused on helping people live better, I realized I could not support the type of messaging that I think the #fitfam group puts out.  It goes against my professional opinion of what health and fitness needs to be.

I do not believe in body shaming and many of these fitness memes are condescending, rude, judgmental, and self righteous.  

It won’t taste as good as skinny feels?  Well let me tell you something:  I was a lot thinner last year and it didn’t feel all that good.  I was hungry and tired.  

These types of images are sending the message that exercise and nutrition are only for the perfect people who don’t mess up.  People who have issues with emotional eating or who may be in pain preventing them from exercises become alienated if feeling healthy is only for perfect people. Maybe they shouldn’t even try because what’s the use?  They won’t be like this perfect person on the poster.  I recently went to a seminar where it was said that 17% of people are active.  Where are the other 83%?  As a health and fitness coach, I want to see more people get active and many folks need to start where they are.

The Dangers of Beastmode

Unless your name is Marshawn Lynch, this needs to be retired on social media. I see so much BEASTMODE with the most horrific form. I saw a video where the person was bragging about a PR and my back started hurting just looking at the video.  Form and technique doesn’t matter.  Beast mode matters and of course you need to post it so everyone thinks you’re even more awesome.  Talk to me in 1-2 years when all of that Beast Mode catches up with you

Speaking of which it isn’t BEASTMODE to continue to train when you’re injured and in pain. That’s your body telling you that something isn’t right and you should correct the dysfunction before it gets worse and the compensations from your dysfunction lead to even worse injuries.

Negative Body Image

I was VERY disturbed by the endless negative body image and body dysmorphia conversations that take place. Some of the dialogue was starting to sound like it belonged in Eating Disorder Treatment groups. I noticed that by staying away from those types of sites and influences that after 3 weeks my own self image had drastically improved. I think the more you are exposed to this type of chronic dissatisfaction, self obsession, and poor self image the more you will be influenced.

For years I've spoken out against the influences of the media on young girls and body image. I even used to teach workshops about it and here I was being influenced by it. It's a pervasive medium and it's important to know when to fall back from that type of behavior.

Just a note: Those with these "perfect" bodies usually don't think they are so perfect themselves. They have hangups and issues just like we all do. So there goes that myth. Perfect body does not equal perfect life.

For 3 weeks in April I did a Fast for spiritual reasons. One of the conclusions I came to during the fast was that I was done with this superficial Fitness World.  I un-followed most of the fitness pages and fitness people on social media.  That’s not me.  I am much more than abs, glutes, gainz,meal prep, or whatever else.  To singularly focus on that is robbing other parts of my life and placing far too much emphasis on the physical.

News!

Soon I will have a full service website where I will have lots of news, information, and relevant content for readers.  I will be keeping this blog as my online Progress Journal since people like to keep up with that.  My next entry will be about why I decided to move on from my goal of doing a fitness competition.