Let's talk about Body Image: Stop the Body Fascism

I knew of a woman who had been happily married for a few years and had put on weight during the marriage.  She was at a family function at the food table when a female relative told her that she really should go on a diet because she was getting too fat and  her husband might leave her.

How about this scenario?  Maybe you've put on some weight due to life stresses or whatever and before asking how you are doing one of your female friends says to you "OH MY GOD!  What happened!! You've gained so much weight".  She says it with the dead seriousness as if you have been diagnosed with an incurable disease.  Sometimes this  scenario happens and you don't even know the person.

A single woman speaks of her desire to have a partner and a well meaning friend says "Well then you should really try to lose weight because it's really going to be hard to find anyone if you're so heavy."

Or it could be like what happened to me a few weeks ago:  Boy or girl?  Then I get suggestions about why I should go gluten free to lose weight.

Body Fascist Definition

According to the Dictionary, the term Body Fascist is a pejorative and is  intolerance of those whose bodies do not conform to a particular view of what is desirable.   

Below is a typical Body Fascist approved ad.

Yesterday I talked about how strong women aren't celebrated and/or picked on because they don't fill the ideal beauty standards  so women have developed a fear of building strength because then 
hey think they will turn into He-Man and become undesirable.  In case you didn't read my last blog post, or I just need to reiterate the point:

Women do not have the hormonal capability to turn into He-Man.  Women produce as much testosterone as a ten year old boy.  How many 10 year old boys do you know that look like He-Man?  Furthermore the women that do have overdeveloped muscularity diet, train, and have "help" to look that way.  It also doesn't happen overnight.  Training for an overdeveloped level of muscularity takes YEARS.  Just wanted to say it again in case people still had some questions about whether or not they should be building strength.

The Body Fascists have decided that thin is the only thing that is beautiful and those that do not fit that mold should spend all their time and money trying to get that way or just give up entirely.

This is Ashley Graham and she was the first plus sized model to be in Sports Illustrated.  She's absolutely beautiful.  The Body Fascists would say that she is too fat to be in a bikini and should go on a diet.

What do you think?.

Who are the Body Fascists for women?

I've read quite a bit of feminist literature in my day and as a woman I have my own experiences to draw from.  I believe that the majority of the problem with body image comes not from men but from other women.

From the The examples I gave above to what I've experienced and done in my own life, I would say women are the main body fascists for other women.  We comment, snark, or snicker when someone gains weight.  Think about all the mean tabloid articles calling female celebrities cows and whales when they gain weight. We are happy, celebrate, and act like someone has cured cancer if they lose weight.  We're the ones putting all the focus and emphasis on our worth when it comes to our weight.

Am I letting pop culture off the hook for placing all the desirable women as size 2 or smaller onscreen and in magazines?  No.  I would ask where a lot of that comes from?  If a company is trying to get you to buy something, then they want to sell you a fantasy.  If you buy this, then you'll look like this.  People don't want to look like themselves.

if You Lose Weight, then you will be happy

True or False?

The media has brainwashed us to believe the twisted idea that if they just lose weight, then they will be happy. their  lives will change forever, and everything that is wrong will suddenly be made right. I will save you the trouble: It's a lie. 

Losing weight won't make you happy if YOU aren't already  happy.  You will still have the mortgage, rent, traffic, etc.  All  your problems won't be solved if you lose ten pounds. reached one of my lowest weights last year and still same crap different toilet.

We need to have a different conversation

One of the reasons I am writing about Body Image this week  is because i think this is the root of our weight issues.  I think his issue is bigger than nutrition and exercise because I believe this is what leads to all of the emotional eating which drives the unhealthy relationship women have with food. 

We don't talk about the secret binge eating at night or the dinner get togethers with other women where we complain about our bodies and give each other permission to order forbidden desserts off of the menu

Working in the Fitness Industry, I believe their paradigm is all wrong. for fat loss and general fitness  I don't believe the focus needs to be on calorie counting, macro counting, supplements or  any of that.  I believe the focus needs to be on body image, relationships with food, and self acceptance.It is TIME to say something different.

Quit Policing other women about their body/waistlines

My last thought for this post:  Stop with the body policing.  Stop 
telling women that they have such a pretty face and would look so 
much better if they lost weight.  Quit telling women that they 
better lose weight before their husband has an affair with someone 
thinner, quit volunteering your latest diet  and magic bean that is 
going to MELT THE POUNDS AWAY.  Just stop.

Focus on LIVING BETTER.  Focus on Eating Fresh Nutritious Foods,  Focus on Exercising to Get Stronger to live your life better, and focus on healthy habits so that you can radiate life which is what is attractive.  As one of my favorite women's empowerment authors says "HEALTH is attractive.  HEALTH is seductive.  Not dieting and being miserable because you don't look perfect".

This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart so I plan to speak out on it a lot more because as I said I believe this is the ROOT of our frustration.

Please let me know what you think because I am interested in hearing feedback.

Is it a Boy or Girl: Yep that happened and celebrating my 100th Post on this Blog!

Last week I was practicing my movement training and the woman next to me looks at me in surprise and asks excitedly, "Boy or girl?"  I paused and said, "I'm not pregnant".  I do know this woman so I didn't want to get too snippy and so then she says, "But your belly looks bigger."  I said "that's because I gained weight."  I didn't add that I was 1 day away from surfing the crimson wave and ladies you know that's how it goes.

So as this continues on she asks me why I went off my diet from last year and I tried explaining that wasn't sustainable and that my body stopped responding.  She then began to launch into why I should go gluten free because I can lose weight that way.  I told her I don't have a gluten allergy and I don't really eat much wheat anyway because of digestibility.

Finally I told her, "I'm not trying to lose weight.  I am trying to gain muscle mass and cause my metabolism to adapt to a higher caloric intake."

She apologized and I tried to tell her that it didn't matter.  Yes, I've gained weight and it's okay to notice.  I'm not offended because weight fluctuates and what I weigh doesn't determine WHO I am.

I didn't have time to tell her what I learned last year and that was that it really doesn't matter.

Ladies, Stop being Body Fascist Police

It's really interesting that the most criticism and body shaming for women doesn't come from men.   It comes from other women.  Hardly any of us are measuring up to these unrealistic standards of the perfect body and yet we feel it's our duty to let other women know when they are gaining weight and what they SHOULD do to lose weight.

Can we please stop this?

Many of us do better to focus on our inner lives so that we can STOP putting so much emphasis on this superficial nonsense and can LET GO of the body shaming hobby  and if you want to know the truth, if you're a heterosexual woman MEN DO NOT CARE.

I just read a story this week about the Thigh Gap and this study found that it made no difference to men or women if someone had a thigh gap.  Yes it was a real study.

This week you may have seen the photo going around of the woman in Old Navy who had her feelings hurt after hearing people make fun of plus size clothing.  Maybe the words weren't said to her directly but we really should think about what we say before we say it.

Here the actual story if you're interested    This is the woman Rachel Taylor and I am happy that she posted her picture instead of hiding in shame.

One of the things I am committed to doing is changing the conversation in the fitness industry when it comes to improving health.  I am sick of it being about people being obsessed with thinness and trying to look like this picture of perfection that isn't sustainable and people who push this as the metric of whether or not one is worthy to live their lives. 

How about being the BEST version of yourself?  How about eating healthy and fresh foods because you FEEL better and are able to LIVE your life with vitality and energy instead of sickness and lethargy.  What about exercising to get stronger, in better condition, and to slow down the aging process?  Yes it is awesome to see physical changes but people who are solely in it for the aesthetics usually have other things brewing beneath the surface and focusing on the superficial is just one way to mask that.  It's no more healthy than someone who has emotional eating issues.  

I've made up my mind that my message is going to be about helping people to LIVE better because 83% of people are not active and obesity rates are rising every day.  Whenever i tune into social media fitness experts, I can see why folks want nothing to do with it.  I want nothing to do with it!  It's all silly and ridiculous.  The message is to embrace where you are and to continue to do better.

This is the 100th post!  More to Come

I always wanted to blog and my goal was to share my own journey and help some others.  I think I've been doing that and I look forward to sharing more.  This is going to be a platform for my message about Stopping the Body Fascist Police, Body Image, Living Better, and my own fitness journey.

Where  I am 

I am currently researching more info about metabolism.  I truly believe the reason most women get stuck, plateau, and then continue to gain weight despite their best dieting efforts is because they continue to ride the caloric deficit and cardio train to no avail.  For me I came to the realization that counting calories, macros, and cardio wasn't helping me at all so I should do something different.

Our bodies loves to adapt and that includes metabolism.  So my body had adapted to eating lower calories and cardio.  Time to shake things up.  

Here is my regimen

• No counting calories 
• Nutrient Timing:  Carbs before workout, BCAA's intra workout, and after workout along with protein
• Changed workouts:  Systematically adding Volume to my workouts so we don't adapt.
• Right now my workouts are 3 days lifting: Push/Pull/Legs and 1 Day Bootcamp Metabolic Workouts.  The other days is mainly mobility and stretching.
• No formal cardio

Can I tell you that I am feeling great!  I had not lifted since the end of April and I went right back without losing any strength and my back is fine.  So there you go.

I will stay here for the next 6 weeks or so and I think by that time I will be ready to start a Fat Loss Program where again it will be systematic and I will get back to my happy place where I am comfortable.

Workouts for me have become fun again.  They aren't punishment or doing it because I'm scared to get fat.  I'm doing it cause it's fun and makes me feel great.

Know what else?  Even 15 pounds heavier, I still like myself.  Before that woman asked me if I was having a boy or girl, I was noticing how my shoulders do not slump and you can see definition. I was excited!  That's what makes me feel good...Looking strong.  Not skinny!

Oh yeah and word to the wise:  Unless she looks like she is ready to deliver don't ask a woman if she is pregnant.  Wait for her to tell you.

Here's to 100 more fun and HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE posts and encouragement to help people LIVE BETTER!!