The Difference is WHY...This is my Why. What's yours?

First off that is one of my favorite Lenny K songs.  Look it up if you don't know it...

For a few months this past Spring I lost my enthusiasm for working out.  I still went but it was no longer invigorating and empowering.  It had become boring and it felt like drudgery. It wasn't just the lack of exciting gym members I was really just over it.  

During my time of reflection about my whole fitness journey, I was not hard on myself about missing a day of working out.  I skipped when necessary and left if I just wasn't feeling it.  During that whole reflection time, I came to an important realization about my WHY this past year or so regarding fitness.

It was all because I was afraid to get fat.  

Working out had become some sort of fear based activity when before it was fun and empowering.  It had become this whole exercise in futility to force my body to do things it didn't want to do.  With each workout I found myself getting more and more annoyed because things seemed to be going in the opposite direction and I was sick of it.

That should have been my first clue to step away and get a grip on things but it didn't stop until I actually found myself hurt.  I think I overdid it with one of my low back extensors and was forced back into mobility and rest mode.

I can say that in the last few weeks my mojo has completely returned. I look forward to workouts.  They are fun again.  They aren't about losing weight or because I'm afraid to get fat. My workouts are no longer fear based.  My workouts have become high energy, hard working, and all about having a good time and we didn't even get any new exciting gym members... 

If I am being honest that trip to the Fit Expo and electrifying seminar did solidify my observations on social media and provide me with a new muse so I am good.

These are My Why's

As I rediscovered my passion for working out and exercise, I started asking myself WHY I like to exercise and I thought I would share them.

It makes me feel empowered and that I CAN....

Working out makes you feel powerful.  It makes you feel like you can do what you put your mind to.  So many people run around with an, "I can't" attitude and they don't even try.  I think every time you challenge yourself and don't die, then you grow more confident that you can try something else scary.

It helps me to lie  surprise people when I tell them my age

I usually tell the Junior Mints  that I graduated from High School in the 20th Century and leave it at that, but when I tell people how old I am they are generally surprised and we know from a scientific perspective that a major cause of aging is poor nutrition and inactivity.  You have no energy and body parts sag when you aren't active.  The only time I feel my age is when it comes to music and staying up late.  Other than that I feel stronger and better than I did in my 20's.

Someday I will be a Mother and I won't be in my 20's

I like to look ahead and I am not just focused on the now.  We need to start learning how to live a disciplined life in whatever season we are in because when the next one hits, we need to be somewhat prepared.  Trying to keep up with kids with little energy and poor dietary habits sets a poor example for kids and is exhausting for the parents.  No thank you.  It's important to me to live a life before my kids that I want them to model.  This would include their health.

I still want to be able to move, dance, and work into my 80's and 90's

This is in my blood so I know it can be done.  I want to be enjoying my life well into my 80's and 90's.  I don't want to be one of those people who just sits around and does nothing but watch TV all day.  I want to still be active, vibrant, dancing, and even teaching/training people well into The Golden Years.  Yes I want to carry on the spirit of Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia!  

The Gym can still be fun and invigorating

I just feel so much better when I am done.  I have such a good time with my music.  You get some Michael, Prince, Beyonce, Rihanna , Britney, and old school Hip Hop going and it's a party without all the expensive drinks and having to get dressed up.  I truly have fun when I'm there.

I want to LIVE better

Studies continue to come out proving that exercise is more than just about the physical.  It can lessen the risk of Alzheimer's, Dementia, depression, and so on.  I want to LIVE BETTER.  I don't want to go through life with no energy, no confidence, and not able to do anything because I'm too tired and unhealthy.

What's Your Why?

I would encourage you to re-examine your reasons for working out and if all you can come up with is:  I want to lose weight or I don't want to get fat, then I encourage you to change your perspective. What are the positive reasons you are working out?  Going the fear based route is sure to produce frustration when things don't go the way you'd hope.

Take the focus off of the scale, your weight, and all of that and put it back into improving quality of Life.  I can guarantee things will change then!

Let's talk about Body Image: Stop the Body Fascism

I knew of a woman who had been happily married for a few years and had put on weight during the marriage.  She was at a family function at the food table when a female relative told her that she really should go on a diet because she was getting too fat and  her husband might leave her.

How about this scenario?  Maybe you've put on some weight due to life stresses or whatever and before asking how you are doing one of your female friends says to you "OH MY GOD!  What happened!! You've gained so much weight".  She says it with the dead seriousness as if you have been diagnosed with an incurable disease.  Sometimes this  scenario happens and you don't even know the person.

A single woman speaks of her desire to have a partner and a well meaning friend says "Well then you should really try to lose weight because it's really going to be hard to find anyone if you're so heavy."

Or it could be like what happened to me a few weeks ago:  Boy or girl?  Then I get suggestions about why I should go gluten free to lose weight.

Body Fascist Definition

According to the Dictionary, the term Body Fascist is a pejorative and is  intolerance of those whose bodies do not conform to a particular view of what is desirable.   

Below is a typical Body Fascist approved ad.

Yesterday I talked about how strong women aren't celebrated and/or picked on because they don't fill the ideal beauty standards  so women have developed a fear of building strength because then 
hey think they will turn into He-Man and become undesirable.  In case you didn't read my last blog post, or I just need to reiterate the point:

Women do not have the hormonal capability to turn into He-Man.  Women produce as much testosterone as a ten year old boy.  How many 10 year old boys do you know that look like He-Man?  Furthermore the women that do have overdeveloped muscularity diet, train, and have "help" to look that way.  It also doesn't happen overnight.  Training for an overdeveloped level of muscularity takes YEARS.  Just wanted to say it again in case people still had some questions about whether or not they should be building strength.

The Body Fascists have decided that thin is the only thing that is beautiful and those that do not fit that mold should spend all their time and money trying to get that way or just give up entirely.

This is Ashley Graham and she was the first plus sized model to be in Sports Illustrated.  She's absolutely beautiful.  The Body Fascists would say that she is too fat to be in a bikini and should go on a diet.

What do you think?.

Who are the Body Fascists for women?

I've read quite a bit of feminist literature in my day and as a woman I have my own experiences to draw from.  I believe that the majority of the problem with body image comes not from men but from other women.

From the The examples I gave above to what I've experienced and done in my own life, I would say women are the main body fascists for other women.  We comment, snark, or snicker when someone gains weight.  Think about all the mean tabloid articles calling female celebrities cows and whales when they gain weight. We are happy, celebrate, and act like someone has cured cancer if they lose weight.  We're the ones putting all the focus and emphasis on our worth when it comes to our weight.

Am I letting pop culture off the hook for placing all the desirable women as size 2 or smaller onscreen and in magazines?  No.  I would ask where a lot of that comes from?  If a company is trying to get you to buy something, then they want to sell you a fantasy.  If you buy this, then you'll look like this.  People don't want to look like themselves.

if You Lose Weight, then you will be happy

True or False?

The media has brainwashed us to believe the twisted idea that if they just lose weight, then they will be happy. their  lives will change forever, and everything that is wrong will suddenly be made right. I will save you the trouble: It's a lie. 

Losing weight won't make you happy if YOU aren't already  happy.  You will still have the mortgage, rent, traffic, etc.  All  your problems won't be solved if you lose ten pounds. reached one of my lowest weights last year and still same crap different toilet.

We need to have a different conversation

One of the reasons I am writing about Body Image this week  is because i think this is the root of our weight issues.  I think his issue is bigger than nutrition and exercise because I believe this is what leads to all of the emotional eating which drives the unhealthy relationship women have with food. 

We don't talk about the secret binge eating at night or the dinner get togethers with other women where we complain about our bodies and give each other permission to order forbidden desserts off of the menu

Working in the Fitness Industry, I believe their paradigm is all wrong. for fat loss and general fitness  I don't believe the focus needs to be on calorie counting, macro counting, supplements or  any of that.  I believe the focus needs to be on body image, relationships with food, and self acceptance.It is TIME to say something different.

Quit Policing other women about their body/waistlines

My last thought for this post:  Stop with the body policing.  Stop 
telling women that they have such a pretty face and would look so 
much better if they lost weight.  Quit telling women that they 
better lose weight before their husband has an affair with someone 
thinner, quit volunteering your latest diet  and magic bean that is 
going to MELT THE POUNDS AWAY.  Just stop.

Focus on LIVING BETTER.  Focus on Eating Fresh Nutritious Foods,  Focus on Exercising to Get Stronger to live your life better, and focus on healthy habits so that you can radiate life which is what is attractive.  As one of my favorite women's empowerment authors says "HEALTH is attractive.  HEALTH is seductive.  Not dieting and being miserable because you don't look perfect".

This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart so I plan to speak out on it a lot more because as I said I believe this is the ROOT of our frustration.

Please let me know what you think because I am interested in hearing feedback.

Let's talk about Body Image: Strong Women Rock! (part 1)

I have had it!  

You may have heard about the piece in the New York Times about body image and women tennis players.  It set off a firestorm across social media and really left many of us shaking our heads at how a champion athlete like Serena Williams is criticized for looking ATHLETIC

During an appearance on Home Shopping Network for her clothing line, Williams said that one particular long-sleeved garment would help her go unnoticed in public.

“My arms are really fit, but I wanted to cover them, because when I do people don’t recognize me as much,” she said.

Williams, who will be vying for the Wimbledon title against Garbiñe Muguruza on Saturday, has large biceps and a mold-breaking muscular frame, which packs the power and athleticism that have dominated women’s tennis for years. Her rivals could try to emulate her physique, but most of them choose not to.

Despite Williams’s success — a victory Saturday would give her 21 Grand Slam singles titles and her fourth in a row — body-image issues among female tennis players persist, compelling many players to avoid bulking up.

“It’s our decision to keep her as the smallest player in the top 10,” said Tomasz Wiktorowski, the coach of Agnieszka Radwanska, who is listed at 5 feet 8 and 123 pounds. “Because, first of all she’s a woman, and she wants to be a woman.”

That's enough of that article.  One question before we proceed any further.  How many men do you know that look like this?  As J.K. Rowling said to a Twitter Troll about Serena in this outfit:  "Yeah my husband looks like this in a dress.  You're an idiot."
I Could not have said it better myself.

What does it say that even a woman who is considered one of this generation's greatest athlete's is being criticized because she looks like a champion athlete?  

It's ridiculous but a symptom of a much larger problem:  An industry that makes it's money off of insecurity, self loathing, and a narrow definition of what is right and attractive.

This industry is called the beauty/fitness industry and it's causing women more harm than good.  Let's look at the very real health/cosmetic benefit of strength training.

But I don't want to bulk up...

Women must strength train.  There is no way around it.  From a functional standpoint, women must strength train because muscle supports the joints and if you have no strength, then you have very little function.  The reason you can't walk further than a block is because you have no strength.  The reason you can't open jars, carry groceries, or play with your kids is because you don't have enough strength.  The reason you have terrible balance and fall over easily is because you have weak stabilization strength.  The reason you are in pain is because your musculature is weak and you most likely are compensating.  Muscle is also more metabolically active which means you will burn more calories even at rest.

From a purely cosmetic standpoint, you must strength train if you don't want your body parts to drag the ground.  Muscle is what gives your body shape.  Fat sags and doesn't have shape except shaped towards the ground.  If you've ever wondered why some people maintain a more youthful appearance is because they have higher quality muscle tone.  Yes TONE that word people use to describe lower body fat and muscle definition.  If you want to tone, then you must build muscle mass and that involves not only bodyweight but other tools such as Dumbbells, Barbells, Resistance Bands, and Kettlebells.

One of the biggest forms of resistance from clients I have encountered as a fitness coach when I tell them that they must strength train is, "But I don't want to bulk up!"  My first reaction is That is not going to happen because women simply don't possess the hormones to turn into He-Man.  Women who have high levels of developed muscularity have dieted and trained FOR YEARS to get that way and yes they have had some "help" along the way.  If you don't plan on standing onstage and flexing, then you don't need to worry about it because you aren't going to train nor diet that way.  Besides that it takes YEARS to look like that.  It doesn't happen overnight.

My second response is a bit more snippy:  "If you don't strength train, then you WILL bulk up but it will be with body fat." As we age, muscles atrophy and we do begin to lose muscle mass UNLESS we take action by strength training.  If you don't want to be sagging and drooping, then you need to strength train or you will bulk up with body fat.

Ordinarily I hate these types of Fitness Memes but this one is so true.  

For some reason we have been programmed that it would be better to bulk up with body fat than with lean muscle mass which has functional purposes and will  also help you to look better.  Yet this is frowned upon and I can never understand why until I see these stupid comments about female athletes I understand why women are so afraid of bulking up.  

Why this is hurting women:  Never Good Enough

If you ask women if they are happy with their bodies, then they will say No.  Myself included.  We never think we are good enough even if we are healthy and vibrant!  As I said last week, I don't know who is spreading these lies that men only like skinny and frail looking women because that is not my experience nor the people I know.  Men worth partnering with are concerned with character and who you are as a person but THAT is for another day.  

Women are constantly bombarded with the fact that they are not good enough.  Even some of your favorite women who are celebrated by the media get it when they gain weight and I'm sure if you asked many of these "perfect" women if they are completely happy with their appearance, then they would say No.  It is all an illusion

I am Not Good Enough

Even at one of my lowest weights, I still complained.

The message women are constantly getting is that We are Never Good Enough.  Even when I was down 22 pounds last year, it wasn't good enough.  I still found something to complain about.  Some brag about being perfectionists but I think that is foolish.  There is no perfect and the more you set something that doesn't exist as a goal, the more frustrated, stressed out, and unhappy you will be.  

We will never be good enough if we listen to the popular  media and most fitness experts and do you know why?

Dollars and Cents

If we think we are good enough, then we won't BUY anything. I will never forget a class that I took in college where the professor said that the reason television exists is to sell advertising.  If people felt that they were enough, then they wouldn't need to rush out and buy all the latest crap that's for sale.   The fitness industry would really be at a loss.  What would all the gurus, snake oil salesmen, and magic bean pushers do for income?  They would actually have to begin to address the deeper issues of WHY people have the habits that they do and much of it has nothing to do with willpower.

We need a new message and to say something different

It's time to say something different.  As I have said and will address in Part 2 of this series, Women are the main members of the body fascist police.  It isn't men that are the cause of the body shaming and weight police.

What does it mean when one of the greatest athletes of our generation is criticized for looking like it? 

What does it mean when women say I would rather be thin and lose rather than look athletic and win?

Real Life Application

What does it mean when women say I won't strength train because I don't want to bulk up even though I don't possess the hormones to do so?

I would rather lose function and not be able to move rather than take the chance of getting stronger by strength training.

I would rather bulk up with body fat than the possibility of looking strong.

Raise your hand if you are with me that we need a new message and to say something different.  It starts with us as women and especially those of us in the health/fitness industry.

Part 2 tomorrow...

Is it a Boy or Girl: Yep that happened and celebrating my 100th Post on this Blog!

Last week I was practicing my movement training and the woman next to me looks at me in surprise and asks excitedly, "Boy or girl?"  I paused and said, "I'm not pregnant".  I do know this woman so I didn't want to get too snippy and so then she says, "But your belly looks bigger."  I said "that's because I gained weight."  I didn't add that I was 1 day away from surfing the crimson wave and ladies you know that's how it goes.

So as this continues on she asks me why I went off my diet from last year and I tried explaining that wasn't sustainable and that my body stopped responding.  She then began to launch into why I should go gluten free because I can lose weight that way.  I told her I don't have a gluten allergy and I don't really eat much wheat anyway because of digestibility.

Finally I told her, "I'm not trying to lose weight.  I am trying to gain muscle mass and cause my metabolism to adapt to a higher caloric intake."

She apologized and I tried to tell her that it didn't matter.  Yes, I've gained weight and it's okay to notice.  I'm not offended because weight fluctuates and what I weigh doesn't determine WHO I am.

I didn't have time to tell her what I learned last year and that was that it really doesn't matter.

Ladies, Stop being Body Fascist Police

It's really interesting that the most criticism and body shaming for women doesn't come from men.   It comes from other women.  Hardly any of us are measuring up to these unrealistic standards of the perfect body and yet we feel it's our duty to let other women know when they are gaining weight and what they SHOULD do to lose weight.

Can we please stop this?

Many of us do better to focus on our inner lives so that we can STOP putting so much emphasis on this superficial nonsense and can LET GO of the body shaming hobby  and if you want to know the truth, if you're a heterosexual woman MEN DO NOT CARE.

I just read a story this week about the Thigh Gap and this study found that it made no difference to men or women if someone had a thigh gap.  Yes it was a real study.

This week you may have seen the photo going around of the woman in Old Navy who had her feelings hurt after hearing people make fun of plus size clothing.  Maybe the words weren't said to her directly but we really should think about what we say before we say it.

Here the actual story if you're interested    This is the woman Rachel Taylor and I am happy that she posted her picture instead of hiding in shame.

One of the things I am committed to doing is changing the conversation in the fitness industry when it comes to improving health.  I am sick of it being about people being obsessed with thinness and trying to look like this picture of perfection that isn't sustainable and people who push this as the metric of whether or not one is worthy to live their lives. 

How about being the BEST version of yourself?  How about eating healthy and fresh foods because you FEEL better and are able to LIVE your life with vitality and energy instead of sickness and lethargy.  What about exercising to get stronger, in better condition, and to slow down the aging process?  Yes it is awesome to see physical changes but people who are solely in it for the aesthetics usually have other things brewing beneath the surface and focusing on the superficial is just one way to mask that.  It's no more healthy than someone who has emotional eating issues.  

I've made up my mind that my message is going to be about helping people to LIVE better because 83% of people are not active and obesity rates are rising every day.  Whenever i tune into social media fitness experts, I can see why folks want nothing to do with it.  I want nothing to do with it!  It's all silly and ridiculous.  The message is to embrace where you are and to continue to do better.

This is the 100th post!  More to Come

I always wanted to blog and my goal was to share my own journey and help some others.  I think I've been doing that and I look forward to sharing more.  This is going to be a platform for my message about Stopping the Body Fascist Police, Body Image, Living Better, and my own fitness journey.

Where  I am 

I am currently researching more info about metabolism.  I truly believe the reason most women get stuck, plateau, and then continue to gain weight despite their best dieting efforts is because they continue to ride the caloric deficit and cardio train to no avail.  For me I came to the realization that counting calories, macros, and cardio wasn't helping me at all so I should do something different.

Our bodies loves to adapt and that includes metabolism.  So my body had adapted to eating lower calories and cardio.  Time to shake things up.  

Here is my regimen

• No counting calories 
• Nutrient Timing:  Carbs before workout, BCAA's intra workout, and after workout along with protein
• Changed workouts:  Systematically adding Volume to my workouts so we don't adapt.
• Right now my workouts are 3 days lifting: Push/Pull/Legs and 1 Day Bootcamp Metabolic Workouts.  The other days is mainly mobility and stretching.
• No formal cardio

Can I tell you that I am feeling great!  I had not lifted since the end of April and I went right back without losing any strength and my back is fine.  So there you go.

I will stay here for the next 6 weeks or so and I think by that time I will be ready to start a Fat Loss Program where again it will be systematic and I will get back to my happy place where I am comfortable.

Workouts for me have become fun again.  They aren't punishment or doing it because I'm scared to get fat.  I'm doing it cause it's fun and makes me feel great.

Know what else?  Even 15 pounds heavier, I still like myself.  Before that woman asked me if I was having a boy or girl, I was noticing how my shoulders do not slump and you can see definition. I was excited!  That's what makes me feel good...Looking strong.  Not skinny!

Oh yeah and word to the wise:  Unless she looks like she is ready to deliver don't ask a woman if she is pregnant.  Wait for her to tell you.

Here's to 100 more fun and HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE posts and encouragement to help people LIVE BETTER!!