Fitness Competition Journal: So you mean it really doesn't matter?????

Last week while doing my Treadmill Intervals I had an epiphany

It does NOT matter.  

By IT I mean my weight and physical appearance.  

That IT which most of us (especially women) base our value and our worth on. 

IT does NOT matter

Living in If Only

When I was younger I lived in the If Only's

If only I wasn't overweight

If only I was prettier

If only the boys liked me

If only I had different circumstances

If only I wasn't me

If only....If only...If only

As an adult I lived in the If Only's as well

If only I had a real job that paid real money

If only I was married

If only I had kids

If only I moved to a different town

If only.....If only...If only...

If only I wasn't me.

Flashbacks

There was a particular incident that occurred not too long ago where I experienced "rejection".  I blamed the entire incident on me weighing 150-160 pounds and I said IF ONLY I weighed less and looked better, then this wouldn't have happened.

You have to understand that people who faced their adolescence not being the hottest ticket in town have a hard time healing from that experience.  The first place their mind goes when something doesn't go their way is rejection.  They immediately have flashbacks to nobody wanting to date them or remembering the feeling of not being good enough.

For me the first thing I go to when experiencing a rejection in this realm is: my appearance and weight because that's what I struggled with most growing up.

The Present

OK so fast forward to today:  I'm probably the fittest I have ever been and I am feeling strong, empowered, and awesome.  Well the same exact thing happened.  I weigh under 140 pounds at last count and the same exact thing happened which was NOTHING.  Well there went that theory.

As a matter of fact, I don't think I'm being "rejected" at all.  That was just the label I've lived with for so long that I immediately go back into default mode when something like this happens.

Can I tell you I felt incredibly relieved and free when nothing happened because it PROVED that IT wasn't the cause at all.  My instincts told me that wasn't IT all along in the first place, but I needed some type of confirmation.

It doesn't matter...it's the energy from within people are drawn to

As women we are inundated with advertisements that tell us that if we do not lose those last 10 pounds then we may as well give it up.  As I am in my 30's now, I've also noticed the anti aging ads a little more frequently.  If we get wrinkles, we may as well go into the house and apply to be on an episode of Hoarders because nobody will want us.

We fall for these advertisements hook, line, and sinker.

As a Fitness Professional, I see so many AWESOME women trying to "fix" themselves and their physical imperfections thinking IF ONLY I looked perfect on the outside, then things would be different.  

Radical Thinking

I'm going to propose a radical thought here: Well what if none of that mattered? The weight, the wrinkles, the outside.

What if people were drawn to you because they liked YOU?

Think about that for a moment:  

What if they were drawn to you because you had an energy about you that they couldn't get enough of:  You're funny, you're smart, and you're caring. 

What if you concentrated on what's RIGHT about you instead of what's wrong?

What if you stopped worrying about fat thighs, stomach rolls, and all of that and concentrated on being your best self?  What if you concentrated on getting stronger, doing more than you could yesterday, and having fun while you were doing it?

That's what I am doing by training for this competition and I am having a blast doing it.  I tell you I look forward to my workouts and pushing myself harder than I did the last week.  I am proud of myself for doing more than I thought I could and sticking with my diet.  It makes me feel awesome to know that I am working toward my goal. 

A-ha Moment

During my time on the treadmill I realized several things:

• First of all appearance is not what draws people to you and can't be blamed for everything that doesn't go your way.  It really does NOT matter.  If someone is here for you, then they will not go away. You can make a total fool out of yourself and they will still show up.  

• We spend too much time worried about our appearance and give it too much power.  It's the light on the inside that people are drawn too.  When I think of my favorite people, I don't think about their physical appearance at all.  I think about their character and their personality and not their physical appearance.  Even though I tease about being physically attracted to someone, if I'm drawn to someone it's usually not just because of their physical appearance.  It's something within that's drawing me to them.

• Six pack abs and buns of steel are not going to make you happier if you're miserable.  I've seen that first hand. You can still be a miserable, negative, and lonely person with 5-10% Body fat. 

Getting up on stage butt booty naked in a tiny bikini with 5 inch heels to be judged on my appearance seems to contradict this entire post, but it does not because IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THEY THINK because I know that I gave it my all.  I know that I set a goal and stuck with it.  I know that I put aside my fears and decided to prance around onstage naked in front of strangers.  

IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I FACED MY FEARS OF BEING REJECTED ON THE BASIS OF APPEARANCE HEAD ON!!!!  What can you tell me??  I have gotten up naked in front of people and been scored for it.  Talk about facing your fears.  

 I keep saying it but it because it has become clear to me on this journey that IT DOESN'T MATTER if I weigh 160 pounds or 130 pounds.  The people that are here for me will still be here for me because they ARE here for me:  Yes me:  Bossy, aggressive, dramatic, demanding, doesn't have a flat stomach and has big old thighs me.  And??? Why wouldn't they??? I'm imperfect, fabulous, and FIERCE.  So are you!!!

I have my eyes set on a contest in Culver City on Sept 6 which means I am 10 weeks out.

Here is a practice shot from today.

I will share some 6 week progress shots next week.

It's working!!

Sweet Treat! Protein Pudding!

Protein Pudding

Do you have a sweet tooth and like to have a treat every day? Well I sure do and this protein pudding gives me MY LIFE when it’s my last meal of the day and quite frankly I am DEFINITELY keeping this one post competition.  I love love love it.

1 Scoop of Protein Powder (my faves: BSN Lean Dessert Banana Cream, Gaspari Peanut Butter Cookie Dough, Gaspari Chocolate Peanut Butter)

Ingredients

1 Tsp of Torani Sugar Free Syrup (optional)

1 tsp of PB2 powdered peanut butter

½  of Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk (personal preference...I like mine thicker so I use a little less than ½c of almond milk

Directions

Mix Dry ingredients together

Add in almond milk and stir to remove any lumps.  Add to desired consistency

Freeze mixture for 60-90 mins.

Definitely cures the sweet tooth and is a great snack before bed or post workout with some fruit!

Oatmeal and Egg White Pancake! (Prep friendly)

Doing this competition has made me get creative in the kitchen to make food that is on plan, but tastes good.  I told my coach that if I had to eat cardboard and air then I wouldn't make it.

I would like to share some of my recipes that I've come up with. These recipes are contest prep friendly (depending on your contest plan of course) but also awesome for people who are looking to lose body fat (which is really what a competition diet is anyway)

So enjoy here's my newest favorite breakfast creation.

Oatmeal and Egg White Pancake

Oats and Egg Whites for breakfast every morning...Luckily my coach allows us to swap oats out so I alternate between oats, cream of wheat, and grits but oats are my go to because I like them.

I’ve livened them up with my allotted almonds, cinnamon, nutmeg, added some Torani syrup but I  need some more excitement.  

I can’t take credit for this recipe, I got it from one of my fellow Roxstar teammates, Carol.  She’s my new best friend.

Preparation

The night before measure out your allotted oats and add just enough boiling water to cover.  Don’t add too much.  We just want to get our oats nice and fluffy.

This is where you can have a little fun with your mix ins.  Here’s what I’ve used

Stevia or Splenda

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

PB2

Vanilla

Torani Syrup: Caramel, Belgium Cookie, Vanilla,

Refrigerate overnight

Cooking

The next morning add your allotted egg whites to the mixture and stir it up

Spray your non stick cooking pan  or griddle and allow to get hot

TIP: Make sure your pan is hot enough before adding your mixture

Cook as a pancake and top with Torani Sugar Free Syrup or eat plain!

Fitness Competition Journal: Delayed (Again) but not Denied and 4 week Progress Phoots

Well looks like I am going to have another 4 weeks to keep on keeping on.

When my coach told me I would need another 4 weeks to get to where I need to get to for one second I got discouraged but then I thought about all the benefits:

• Roxie would be at the show with me
• I would be able to travel back to Los Angeles where my fitness career was birthed
• I would get to (possibly) do two shows this season and after 7 months of training, I would love to get onstage twice
• Roxie's clients look fantastic on stage and they do well in competitons.  I want to do my best and so I trust her to bring me where I need to be.  If she says I need more time, then I need more time.

What would be the downsides?

Having to stay on plan the whole summer

I could only think of one downside to delaying my show 4 weeks and really that wasn't even a downside, because it isn't like I'm missing out on anything.  I have really appreciated having something to pour my time and energy into.

Let's talk about the benefits though

Support at the Show

This was one of the biggest plusses if not the biggest plus of waiting to do a later show.  If I had done the show I had intended, then I most likely would have been there by myself.  I have said that I do not want to have to go through the show by myself and having my coach there with me is a tremendous relief.  I will need someone to tell me to calm it down and also if she's there she can give me feedback so I can do better the next time.

Coming full circle and traveling back to Los Angeles

I always refer to Southern California as my second birthplace.  It was the place that I began to hear my calling and purpose in life.  It's also where I began to workout and get healthier.  It was there on my campus that Billy Blanks came and taught a Tae Bo class and I knew I wanted to be inspiring and do something like what he was doing one day.

I think it would be so awesome to go back to Los Angeles and step onstage as a Fitness Competitor.  It almost feels like it would be a homecoming for me.  I'm also excited to get out of town.  I have not left San Francisco in 2 years.  I don't know what has happened to me because I used to take at least 1 trip every year.

No worries though:  Los Angeles is first and then I'm traveling to Las Vegas and St. Louis for a women's empowerment conference in September.  I feel like this is just the way to start off my world travels and Loving Life tour.

Getting to do more than one show

I have not gotten up onstage yet but I can already sense that I want to do this again.  LOL!  What better way than to celebrate this 28 weeks or 7 months of focused discipline than to do 2 shows.  This is my first season and I want to make the most of it.  We will see what happens with that.

Learning to trust the Process

One of the main reasons I picked Roxie as a coach is because I liked the way her clients looked.  The people do not look like string beans.  They have great muscle size and shape.  Her clients do not look like they have starved to death for 16 weeks and lost all of their muscles.  They are always in good condition.

If I am going to do something, then I am going to DO IT RIGHT.  So if she says I need more time to get in better condition, then I need more time.  I have seen progress every single cycle, so I know her process works.  As a fitness professional, I know that crash dieting is a recipe for metabolic disaster with rebounding and also I would look terrible on stage.  I would also feel terrible and I just cannot have that.  

The Downside

I would have to continue to diet the whole summer (including my birthday in August)

Oh well

Other people have more of a problem with this than I do.  I am more than willing to celebrate another year better by training for something that I really want to do.  Popeyes, Prime Rib, and Cheesecake, Brownies, and Carrot Cake will be there after the competition.

While I am on that note, I would like to point out that I am okay with what I am doing.  I find training for this competition to be a much better alternative than being unproductive doing things that I really don't want to do in the first place or sitting around complaining and comparing my life to others.

There really isn't a downside for me in this other than I am going to have to close my ears to people and stay focused on the goal.

4 week Progress Photos

I am going to refrain from saying I'm how many weeks out until I actually get the go ahead to officially register for my show.

These are 4 week progress photos.  The one on the right was taken early before I had coffee so I have one eye open and was trying to get it done.

As I said, there has been progress every cycle.  I refuse to cheat myself out of this goal I have committed myself too.

See you in the gym!

5 Reasons You are Not Hitting Your Fat Loss Goals (That Have Nothing to do with Food)

Continuing my Series on Why you are not hitting your fat loss Goals that have nothing to with food.

3. You have no program or plan

THIS is one of my pet peeves.  Throwing together random things you've heard from people at the gym, stuff you've seen on social media, and the latest marketing gimmicks are NOT a program or plan.

If you do not have a roadmap, then you will be lost.  How will you evaluate data points and know what is working and what's not working?  How do you know what works best for your body?  You don't because you have no program or plan!

When I first work with clients, I have them fill out a roadmap.  I ask them for their 3 biggest fitness goals for the year.  THen we begin to break it down into monthly goals.  Each month we refer to the roadmap and formulate goals.  Each week we set goals that build on our monthly goals.  Brick by brick. Piece by piece.  That's how progress is made.  Little by little.  

Then we look back at each month and see how we are doing in comparison to now.  I have a client who set a goal to exercise 3x per week back in January.  She's doing that now and now wants to expand upon that.

I believe that if you are SERIOUS about making a lifestyle change you need a plan. People need structure. Otherwise it's too easy to give in to distractions and go off track.  If you're just starting out, You need an actual plan to follow.  Once you get your footing, then you don't need to be so structured but i believe that having a plan saves you time and money as well.  There is none of that wandering around the gym following the hot guy around or buying pointless supplements and diet foods that don't work.

For my competition training, having a plan has been INVALUABLE otherwise I would have been tempted to phone in a workout when I didn't FEEL like doing that much cardio or that many sets. I also probably would have convinced myself that Quest Bars and Turkey Bacon belonged on the plan.  Having a plan has taken all the guess work out of the equation and I just follow it and get results.

4) You aren't ready to accept help and you know it all already

It never ever fails.  The know it all clients.  Clients who know everything about nutrition and fitness but sign up for training anyway.  These people complain and nitpick about what the trainer is telling them.

I once had a client who couldn't do a squat at all and then wanted to know why we weren't doing plyometrics.  So I had this client do 20 squat jumps to prove a point.  "oh my knees hurt".  Of course they hurt, you aren't properly conditioned and you shouldn't be doing any plyometrics if you can't even do a proper squat.

Then you have the people who question and complain about the exercises that you have them do.  I do think if something is painful or you're uncomfortable performing it (within reason) then I have no problems modifying the exercise.  But there are people who just complain because an exercise is uncomfortable or they may start to activate muscles that they haven't been working so of course their arms and legs are going to fall off.

You also have the clients that know EVERYTHING and are going to tell YOU WHY. Thankfully these people weed themselves out of training because they don't need a training and they know everything right?

Well in all my years of doing this, whenever I have run into the know it all clients later on down the road NONE of them are in any better shape.  As a matter of fact, most of them are in EVEN WORSE shape than they were before.  

Well what happened?

They aren't humble enough to admit they need help and their way doesn't work.  If it did, then why are they in the shape that they are in.

Disclaimer:  I am not saying that you should not ask questions or give feedback.   You absolutely have the right to speak up and let the trainer know your questions and concerns, but if you're eliciting someone's help, then listen.  Maybe they know more than you...besides if your way worked then you would be where you want to be by now.

5) You give into every distraction, temptation, and urge

I get this one.  Believe me I do.  Since I've been training for this competition I have noticed how many food triggers and food cues surround us on a daily basis.  Over Memorial Day Weekend, I was outlet shopping and there were vending machines with Snickers, M&M's, and Ice Cream everywhere!  There were pictures of burgers and fries and we're trying to get our shop on!

Now had I not had such a specific goal in mind, I may have been triggered to go and get a snickers.  It was a holiday for Pete's sakes and everybody knows that calories only count 50% on holidays.  

There are food cues EVERYWHERE but if you are committed to the goal, then it is bigger than the temptation of the burgers and fries, chocolate bars, and ice creams.  You can have these things occasionally but you do not need to give in every single time.

Just because you have an urge does not mean you have to give in.  You will not die if you do not have that

Snickers bar.  It will be there the next time.  In this society we have been trained to give into our urges.  It's okay Y.O.L.O. (You Only Live Once) and Do whatever you want and think about the consequences later.

i will tell you now that giving into all of your urges will never lead to success.  Yes there is a certain amount of discipline that you will need to employ in order to get to where you need to be.  You cannot eat whatever you want and expect to hit your goals.  It just doesn't work that way.

What works for me is: self talk.  I tell myself that I can have it later and it will be there.  I do not have to give in right now.

So much of this fat loss game is about your mentality and headspace. You have to get your mind right and the body will follow!

Happy Training!

Recipe of the Week: Zucchinni Fries!

After completing my 16th week of training for my competition, I have to say that I have had to start getting creative so that I will be excited about my food.

If you know me, then you know I am just not one of these people who is about to sit around and eat cardboard so that I can brag about how hardcore I am.  If I have to eat cardboard, then I'm out.  It is just not that serious.

Well one of the positives of this competition is that you eat a lot of vegetables.  I've learned new ways to prepare veggies without adding extra calories, but still tasting mighty good.

This is one of my new faves and one I will be keeping after my competition.

This is so easy it is ridiculous!

Zucchinni Fries 

In order to chop the fries, I used my Chop Magic which I got during a trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond when I was only in there to replace my water filters.  I decided that I really needed this in my life and it has been super helpful because I hate chopping vegetables!

Ingredients

3-4 Medium Zucchini (You can also use eggplant)

Cooking Spray

I can't believe it's not butter Spray

OR sprinkle with Olive Oil

Seasonings

Sea Salt 

Pepper

Italian Seasoning works well

Chop Zucchini in your Chop Magic or by hand

Preheat Oven to about 400 degrees (I like mine to be a little more crispy)

Spray a pan with nonstick cooking spray

Season to taste (This is where you get creative.  Be Careful with 

Sea Salt because the zucchini seems to absorb salt very well.  I like Italian Seasoning)

Those in Contest Prep or in a Fat Loss cycle use about 4 sprays of I can't Believe it's not Butter Spray otherwise sprinkle very lightly with Olive oil

Bake for about 15 - 20 minutes

Enjoy!

They aren't French Fries but they do taste very good and are a great way to get your veggies!

5 Reasons You are not Hitting Your Fat Loss Goals (that have nothing to do with food or exercise)

Get Your Mind Right

Get Your Mind Right! is one of my favorite mantras.  So many people attempt to make changes in their lives without setting their minds to changing.  In order for you to hit your fat loss goals you must get your mind right.

In my experience as a fitness professional the main reason people do not succeed in hitting their health goals, has little to do with nutrition and exercise and everything to do with their mindsets.  

In this blog series, we are going to look at 5 major reasons why people do not hit their fat loss goals.  These are in no particular order, but I would like us to take some time to really marinate on the first two:

Why am I not hitting my goals?

You want to commit to a healthier lifestyle and you have made some changes, but you aren't seeing any results.  You may have started cleaning up your eating, juicing, taking a weight loss supplement, and have joined the gym.  Yes, there has been SOME improvement, but you're not where you want to be and it doesn't look like you're going to get there anytime soon.

What gives?

You can't isolate the physical dimension of your life

My own personal philosophy of health and wellness is that we are 3 dimensional beings: Mind, Body, and Spirit. Trying to compartmentalize each dimension does not work.  Each of these dimensions are interdependent on one another and trying to fix one without working on all of the others is futile and will ultimately lead to failure.

I can tell you as someone who is training for purely physical reasons that my mind and spirit is involved in the process.  My mind has got to be COMMITTED to the goal that I have set for myself.  My spirit is what keeps me going every day and helps me to persevere past the discouragement, the negative self talk, and gives me the faith to BELIEVE that I will hit my goals.  Having these 3 dimensions interdependent on one another has given me a healthy perspective of competition.  It isn't about thinking my life is going to suddenly get better because I have competed onstage in a bikini and heels...it's about fulfilling my goal to myself.

Why am I not seeing results?.

So let's look at 5 Reasons why you are not hitting your fat loss goals that have nothing to do with diet or exercise.

1.  You are making your weight the sole focus of your unhappiness.

One of the Biggest Loser contestants said it best.  “I lost all this weight but I still have a mortgage, credit card debt, and student loans.”  She learned a lesson most people learn when they hit their fitness goals:  It isn't going to solve all of your problems.  If you're miserable at 25% Body Fat, then you will be miserable at 2% Body Fat.

Now does losing body fat help you to feel better and give you more energy? Yes of course!  I think everyone should try to be the healthiest version of themselves and I KNOW that exercise helps to improve your mood and outlook on life, but if you're one of these people who say,

If only I lost 30 lbs my entire life would be different.

I have news for you:  No it wouldn't because those same insecurities and problems you have would manifest themselves in a different form once you lost weight.  

When people make weight the sole focus of their unhappiness this motivates them to try every quick fix that is on the market.: Lose 10 lbs in 10 hours by drinking cow urine and rubbing cat poop on your hands before eating!  

We all know that quick fixes do not work and people do not sustain the changes on these extreme plans and they will be right back where they started (or even worse off) and more miserable than ever.

My advice is to find out what is really making you unhappy.  I guarantee weight gain is a symptom  of your unhappiness but not the sole cause.  Perhaps you are lonely. Many people are lonely and eat to fill the void of not having anyone around.  Begin to address the loneliness issue and then become mindful of when you're eating because you're bored or lonely.

Other times people may be sad, depressed, or stressed out and this leads to binge eating.  It may be time to seek professional help for these issues and I urge people to begin to work on the inside and the changes will begin to manifest on the outside.

2. You're not ready to commit to a program/plan

There is no shame in not being ready to commit to a program and plan.  I have wanted to compete for 2 years but I knew last year I was not committed.  This year I made up my mind that I was going to do it and so I committed in my mind that I was going to follow through with it.

When it comes to people interested in my training services, I don't believe in overcoming objections. When people are ready they will come and sign up.  I will not chase people down because I don't have time for that and I'd rather pour my energy into people have committed in their minds to hit their goals.

People who are pressured into buying sessions or gym memberships do not stay with it and usually fall off because THEY did not commit to the program/plan.  The salesperson talked them into it.

On that note, let’s talk about what you’re committing to:  It doesn’t have to be about cosmetics.  When you are ready decide upon a goal. It doesn't have to be to lose bodyfat.   It could be that you want to be able to go hiking over the weekend or play basketball.  When you've decided what you want to do, COMMIT in your mind that you are going to follow through with it.

Mark my words:  If you're not committed, then you won't see your goal through. Oh yeah you may last a few weeks, but the first distraction or temptation that comes up you will fall all the way off.

Fitness Competition Journal 14 Weeks completed! 10 weeks to go! My main competition

My coach Roxie Beckles competed in a show this past weekend.  She did not get the result she had hoped for and she handled herself with class and dignity because she knew that she brought her best to the competition. She worked her hardest and that was the main point.  She could not control who the judges thought was the best that day or anything else.  She could control how hard she worked and how much effort she put forth.

As someone who questions at times whether she should not do this in the first place, I found this very encouraging and motivating.  It's about competing against yourself and doing your best.  Setting your goals and following through on them.  If your entire identity and mindset is about winning, then you will be disappointed because people do not win every single time.  Sometimes you're going to have to lose in order to win.  Sometimes you need to learn some lessons that you can only learn by losing.

What is the point if you're not trying to win 1st place?

During this process I have been asked by people why am I competing?  I won't win any money and when I say that my main competition is myself, they don't get it.  They think that I am wasting my time because I am not training solely for winning first place.

First of all I am a realist.  This is my first competition and while it would be nice to come away with a trophy, I can't control who else shows up on that day.  Maybe in that competition women who have been doing this for years show up.  I have no delusions about going up there and immediately thinking I am going to win.

We all have to start somewhere.  Started from the bottom and now we here..

I have a lot of work to do to be very competitive and since I want to do this, then I'm cool with that.  I am prepared to build it brick by brick to make it stick.

Nicole Wilkins

This is current Figure Olympia (the gold standard in Figure) champion Nicole Wilkins.  She shared her first figure competition photo compared with where she is now.  

What if she had given up after the first competition?  No I am a firm believer that the race is not given to the swift, but to those who endure and just keep on going.

Erin Stern

Another example is Erin Stern.  She is another top figure competitor who has won the Figure Olympia several times and other titles.  These photos were taken 8 years apart.  She kept on going and look what hard work and endurance produced!


The point is that there is no shame in starting from the bottom. I would be ashamed if I gave up and quit or if I didn't start in the first place.  I'm planning on having my own, "started from the bottom and now we here" receipts as well.  

What I am really Competing against

I'm competing against Doubt, Fear, Insecurity, Self Discipline, Perseverance, and impatience.  I'm competing against those negative voices in my head that tell me that I can't do it and that I am going to give up.  That's who I'm competing against. 

I'm competing against the doubts that I can overcome the labels that I have placed on myself and the labels that others have tried to place on me.  

When I get up on that stage I will already have won because I have defeated all of these inner demons that told me I couldn't do it in the first place.

Even if I come in dead last, it won't be because I didn't stick to my plan or gave it a half baked effort.  

Progress 

Well I have begun to let go of my insecurities of sharing my progress.  I suppose for continuity sake, for the next 10 weeks I will share the progress photos, so that you can see how my body is changing on a weekly basis.  Just this past week with the calorie drop I've noticed some significant changes.  I am also working on a blog article about what I have learned during this process and why so many don't reach their fat loss goals.

So here we are!  

12 weeks out

10 weeks out